Today, on my way home on my motorbike from a great party in the early hours of the morning, I was feeling pretty good about myself. Riding over a hill, I yawned in anticipation of climbing into bed. A huge winged bastard insect thing then flew straight into my throat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my worst fears were realized as an insect pinged off the back of my mouth while I was singing along to the radio on my motorcycle. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle when a guy cut me off at a light. I honked and swore at him when a bug flew into my mouth. FML
Today, after a long day at work, I was ready to wind down for the night. I sat on my bed and turned towards a fluttering on my left. I saw the biggest daddy-longlegs inches from my face, jumped in the other direction, forgetting there was a wall, and hit my head on it. I'm now officially wide awake. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle on the highway and wearing all of my gear - boots, gloves, jacket, and full-face helmet. Somehow a bee found the only spot not covered on my body and stung my neck. I'm allergic to bees. FML
Today, I got up feeling refreshed and positive for the first time in ages, so I happily threw my window open to greet the beautiful morning. A bee flew into my eye. FML
Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML
Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML
Today, as I was walking through the park I had to yawn. In mid-yawn, with my mouth wide open, I walked right through a spider web getting both the spider and the prey it was eating stuck in my mouth. FML
Today, while I was relaxing outside drinking a beer after a long day, a moth decided to fly right into my ear canal. I instinctively threw my hand up to swat it out. With the same hand holding the beer. I soaked the side of my face and down my ear. At least I got the bug out. FML
Today, while riding a roller coaster, I got hit in the chest by a wasp going 80 miles per hour. As if that didn't hurt enough, it somehow managed to survive and fall down my shirt. It crawled around and stung me a few times before the ride ended. FML
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Top comments
Mr_Satan 11
Today, I was minding my own damn business, having a good time flying around, when this bastard motorized two-legged thing sped through and swallowed me whole. I'm being digested as I type this... FML.
dancinggirl900 17
Insect got your tongue?
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Comments (114)
dancinggirl900 17
Insect got your tongue?
whos_ur_daddy1 19
Nice little morning snack
Pwn17 25
He should have some bug juice when he gets home.
HKCgrimmjow 15
I'm sure that will be your share of protein for the healthy breakfast
SokDek 14
OP needs to wear a helmet. Damn squid.
NeatNit 33
there are helmets that don't block the mouth
SokDek 14
They also offer no protection for your face
fareith 15
I see what you did there!
ImAFaker 29
26- Maybe even some beetle juice
lenalee96 22
Sounds like you caught a small bug!
friedpwnadge 25
It's extra protein, take it like the metal ************ you are.
Wizardo 34
'I heard you wanted to sleep tonight, Hadouken!'
Freethaawave 19
Well they always say it's dangerous to drive when you're sleepy.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
It's also dangerous to ride a motorcycle without a helmet. And down right stupid. Hopefully OP was wearing one and a bug flew through his vent or underneath it. YDI if you didn't have a helmet on.
ksuth 25
20, I don't think all helmets have the face mask things, it could have been one that doesn't
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Well if it was a skull cap type helmet, this fml is a great story to persuade someone to get a full faced helmet. You wouldn't have bugs smacking you in the face.
KingDead 18
Mmm, protein for the morning
hoolihoop 2
Yum yum yummy
Jelbeztok 17
did you swallow it?
MichellinMan 20
No, it just flew straight to the back of his ******* throat.
phatdaddy62 23
OP could be a spitter. Just sayin'.
ToastedHamburger 11
Good girls always swallow!
iiTzNeeNerz 26
Did you bug out?
dathan 14
Don't bug him like that..
Mr_Satan 11
Today, I was minding my own damn business, having a good time flying around, when this bastard motorized two-legged thing sped through and swallowed me whole. I'm being digested as I type this... FML.
Rawr_18 2
LMFAO !!!
ironic_legacy 9
It seems the universe wanted to balance how good you felt with some bad luck
cmayer 20
Oh nature. You've got such great timing.