Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML
Today, when I came home, my girlfriend was in sexy lingerie, and said it was a surprise for me. Sounds awesome, right? Too bad she was drenched in sweat and the room smelled like sex. I looked in the closet, only to get punched in the face by a naked guy. FML
Today, my new friend and I went out to a concert. When we came back to her house, she ran upstairs and left me alone. Suddenly, a naked man came into my view and I stared at him, horrified. Great way to meet her Dad. FML
Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML
Today, I was taking a shower outside at my fiancé's beach house. I was struggling to take my bikini bottoms off, so I started to walk backwards to step out of it. Little did I know that I had pushed the door open. My fiancé, his family, and my family all saw me bend over naked. FML
Today, I got locked in my boyfriend's garage in my underwear while his parents ripped him a new one for having sex beneath their roof. His sister had to let me out. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house. When things started heating up, I heard the front door open and my girlfriend said that it must be her Dad. She handed me my clothes, pushed me out the window, and told me to knock at the front door. Her Dad answered, holding my shoes. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML
Today, I got home and found my husband, naked with an erection and my panties on his face like a mask. He claimed to be the Panty Bandit there to plunder my booty. I might have indulged his insanity and had sex with him were my mom and dad not right behind me in the doorway. FML
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Top comments
xiar 0
you were ****** blocked
syki 22
I believe the correct term is "snatchlatched."
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Comments (203)
Cressalys 0
Wooow
Cressalys 0
Hey look I got first comment. Now I wish I'd put something more constructive...
DahkLohd 4
He should have just joined in! Win-win-win.
nikki898 0
the way she writes it she makes it sound so calm. like he quietly picked her up put her outside and went back inside.
EugeneFancypants 0
Pictures or it didn't happen.
mrhankie 0
drugs
Theblue_fml 0
Don't worry, I sell those cheap :)
Cressalys 0
Dibs
DaveOnDope 4
If you 'just say no' can I have yours?
plankton12 0
ew
DahkLohd 4
Ew? What's wrong with you? Lesbian sex is hot!
MissFukMyLuck 0
second that sir!!
rhartwick 0
says the girl.
maxtheman 0
His pic is of spongebob. obviously not to old
plankton12 0
and my pic is not spongebob??
an_villian 0
depends if op is hot
Glenn_Coco 0
ah #25 are you the same one on twitter with that pic as your profile pic? :D
Kelita 0
Everyone has their own opinion on this n that's all good n gravy but me.....I prefer men cause a female could not satisfy me like a man could. Oh n if anyone is thinkin of tellin me thats y there r ******....um no the real thing is waaayyyy better.
xiar 0
you were ****** blocked
samadams42 0
not this time...
BunnehDino 0
re reads :L
samadams42 0
hahahaha indeed
Alexxcunningham 0
twat swatted
Bano360 25
I like to call it a beaver dam.
ImNinja 0
63 Nice lol I'm using that now
megamandude455 10
i would've said "a cat that didn't get her fill"? either that, or cat-blocked.
larryb71 0
twat swatted
Lacris 0
lol!!
Emilyinroom483 7
My preferred term is "vajected."
Kelita 0
****** blocked hahahaha
TheTweaker 0
Actually the correct literary term would be "finger-blocked." The term "******-blocked" would mean she would be blocked from inserting her ****** into a ******. Other terms that could work for this situation are "fist-blocked" and "*****-blocked".
kellyisyllek 0
or maybe strap-snatched?
Kelita 0
#189 y u gotta b a party pooper!?? geeezzz the comment was funny the way she put it. Its not funny when u try to get all "literary term" on it.
EugeneFancypants 0
Nice.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
why do I find this hilarious?? ;D fyl op
evilbee 0
haha you are awesome
lemoncows 2
so awesome you needed to say it twice!
jarrett98c 0
so what does "op" mean?
6969awesome 0
orgasmic penis!
KatieKhaos 0
Overweight pears
michabailey 8
Original Poster. In forums, the guy who created a thread. On FML, the poster of the FML being commented upon.
schwiggidy 0
haha you are awesome
schwiggidy 0
haha you are awesome
14MEDIC14 0
vajected, strap-snatched, finger-blocked.
omnomnicon 9
wat
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
why do I find this hilarious?? ;D fyl op
syki 22
I believe the correct term is "snatchlatched."
PmbnsangCallBoy 0
this!
blahblahblah5_x 13
ROFL sorry but that is hilarious.
dnljcbsn 0
I would have joined in just saying
leprachaun405 0
I believe I would have gone with a threesome.... yes I do believe so
life_lol 0
three way all the way. he must of been a 30sec man Lmfao
Muffinzz11 7
girl on girl is hawt ;3
bfflrhea 0
eww!!
athlete11 7
it's not Ew. he's right, it's very hot.
MissFukMyLuck 0
lol that's why women get paid lots to be filmed doing it! it's natural. not gross. *turn me on some pay per view son!!!!!*
Amosatron 0
I'm a girl, I'm straight, yet lesbian **** turns me on :3
popatia 0
not if they are ugly