Today, having been on hold on the phone for several minutes, I felt the need to release a fart. Just as I started my release, they picked up. They definitely heard. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was waiting in line at the store trying to hold in a fart. I get to the cash register and the lady made me laugh and the fart slipped out. Only it was much louder than it was supposed to be, because I was squeezing my butt cheeks together, so it made a clapping sound. It was heard. FML
Today, I was on a conference call in my office with the door closed. I let out some loud farts and felt liberated. Forgot my phone was NOT on mute. There were only 3 people on the conference call - including me. FML
Today, I got through to the phone interview stage for a great job. When the phone rang, I answered and suddenly, spontaneously, burped really loudly. The interviewer hung up. FML
Today, I was feeling gassy at work so I used my mute button. Later on in the day, I realized my mute button was disabled. Everyone heard me fart and it's recorded. FML
Today, I was working at my desk and wearing my new noise cancelling headphones. I couldn’t hear anyone around me, so I let out a nice long fart. Every desk behind me was occupied and the fart was not silent. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, I had two customers who had some questions about their phones. Walking over, my cooch graced us with an audible fart sound that I‘m sure everybody heard. FML
Today, I had to stifle a fart so my upstairs neighbors wouldn't hear it. I know this because I frequently hear theirs. FML
Today, at work, whilst on hold with an important client, I said to my co-workers, "Fucking hell, this woman sounds high as a kite." I heard a cough on the other end of the phone. All calls are recorded. FML
Today, I held in an explosive fart during a co-worker's rant and waited a few seconds after he left the room to release the Kraken. Forgetting something, he returned mid-fart. Before either of us could say anything, our boss came into the room. FML
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Top comments
Ubehage 32
Why would you fart into the phone?
RichardPencil 32
You're lucky my patented Smell-o-phone hasn't gotten the market share it deserves!
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Comments (4)
SirEnigM0nk 22
Blame it on the pets or roommates?
Ubehage 32
Or better yet, not be afraid to admit that you are alive and therefor you fart.
SirEnigM0nk 22
Ego fart, ergo sum.
Ubehage 32
Why would you fart into the phone?
RichardPencil 32
You're lucky my patented Smell-o-phone hasn't gotten the market share it deserves!
tiptoppc 21
Mute buttons exist btw. Ydi