Today, my girlfriend did the walk of shame in a skimpy Halloween costume after a night of drunken sex. Problem? The walk ended at my doorstep, and the sex was with a stranger. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Territorial
Today, I'm at odds with my fiancée because a drunk girl approached me at a Halloween party and complimented my costume. I barely acknowledged the woman and made polite small talk until she walked away. Apparently, I was too friendly and should have shooed the woman away rudely and immediately. FML
Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML
Life imitating art, or…?
Today, some filthy creep grabbed my girlfriend's ass in front of me. I smashed his face in, as would be expected. Afterwards, we had wild sex, then she cried, told me how frightened my "unprovoked violent response" made her, and kicked me out. I'm now in a seedy motel, wondering what the hell happened. FML
Today, we had a great night out with my girlfriend and even won a costume contest together. I guess I wasn't the only one who had a great night, because when I got home I found that someone had robbed my apartment. FML
Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML
Today, I brought a girl home from the bar. After sleeping together, she drunkenly stumbles to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she accidentally walks into my parents' room, turns on the lights and asks where her clothes are before figuring it out. FML
Today, I went to a haunted house with the girl I like, thinking that she would get scared and turn to me for comfort. I ended up running out, and was put on the Wall of Shame. FML
So frustrating!
Today, I tried to have a fun night out. I met a guy and we went back to "his" place, which turned out to actually be his mother's house. He introduced me to her. Two hours later, I knew his life story and had to do the walk of shame without ever getting anywhere near his bedroom. FML
So, this is my mom…
Today, after spending a great evening with the guy I really like, he dropped me off outside my house. When he pulled into my driveway, his lights shone onto my drunken mum taking the garbage out in nothing but her black panties. FML
Breaking news
Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML
Top comments
Nightwing98 22
What was her costume? Trampire?
welsea28 6
She probably felt guilty...either way sorry OP
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Comments (217)
aamador 4
Don't except the I was drunk please forgive me bs just get you another girl I promise plenty of them are out and about
TummyYummy__ 16
Please do not fall for the, "I was drunk!" excuse.
JudgeTroll 6
Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall
perdix 31
Correction: Your ex-girlfriend had sex with her new boyfriend, and now you're "just somebody that she used to know." You deserve it for not keeping track of your girlfriend while she's drinking and wearing a skimpy costume. Danger, Will Robinson!
charvisioku 22
What, do you expect him to call her constantly asking where she is and what she's doing? Possessive behaviour, much? He probably trusted her. Besides, being clingy and possessive is going to drive your partner away, not make them want to be faithful to you.
perdix 31
#67, First, I hope that "..., much" motif dies an agonizing death along with YOLO. The English language will be better off without them. At least, *lowers sunglasses* has some comedic value if used wisely. Second, there's a big difference between possessiveness and negligence. You're either (ee) naive or you don't care if you let your girlfriend go to a party dressed skimpily where there will be alcohol and other men, and you are not at least keeping an eye on her.
perdix 31
#80, I'd think you'd prefer, let's say, "attentive and vigilant" to "possessive and clingy?" Sometimes, clingy is cute, but it can also be annoying. Your call.
gracehi 33
So OP shouldn't let his girlfriend ever go to a party without him? I hope you're joking, Perdix. Can you say, "Controlling?" A person should be able to trust their partner. It's not OP's fault his girlfriend broke that trust.
dvi 1
What if he has a job that he works the graveyard shift? It's a lot harder to keep track of someone if you are working. You also have to consider that what if he tried to and was either ignored or blown off all night.
love_me_electric 20
I can kind of see where Perdix is coming from. It's not the guys fault his girlfriend cheated, but for all we know it wasn't her fault either. Guys were probably giving her free drinks trying to get drunk and before she knew it she was blacked out and didn't know what she was doing. Hell, maybe someone even roofied her drink. This is why I NEVER go out drinking unless my boyfriend is with me. I know when I'm really drunk I'll dance with anyone who asks, and I'm scared one day I'll do more than just dance.
Axipiter 24
I thumbed you down after "it wasn't her fault either" and stopped reading.
Onmyzephyr 5
The roofie thing, I can understand. But plain alcohol has never ever made me want to **** someone else if I'm in a committed relationship. Your inner **** comes out to play easily I see.
gracehi 33
No, 150 has a point. There's a reason a drunk person can't legally consent to sex. If the guy she slept with was sober (Or perhaps even of he was drunk too. His and her culpability would be up to a jury.) she was raped in legal terms. I think the law oversimplifies it, but there's really no way to gauge the level of drunkenness at which someone loses all sense of themselves, especially after the fact. There's a point when a person is so drunk, on alcohol alone, that they are utterly clueless about their surroundings and what's happening. Indeed it's rare. I've never experienced it myself because I always get sick or fall asleep first, but I've seen it happen. Also, when someone passes out from overconsumption of alcohol, you can do just about anything to them without waking them. That's a condition in which people often get raped. None of this necessarily applies to the OP's girlfriend though. I don't know why, maybe I'm just biased, but I get the impression it doesn't.
Czech_Zidane 14
If a drunk girl hits on you and clearly wants to have sex, is it still rape if you agree and have sex with her? And what exactly means "drunk person"? Is a person after one drink drunk already and thus can not consent to sex?
Axipiter 24
163, it's still the individual's choice to get that drunk. Let's not forget that. People use alcohol as an excuse for doing stupid shit WAY too much. Wake up, take responsibility for yourself, and maybe you'll get somewhere in life. Or keep on blaming other things for your wrongdoings, and see how far you get in life. Can't handle your booze, don't ******* drink. Yes, folks. It's that simple.
Czech_Zidane 14
Yes. I get mad everytime when someone for example beats somebody and the court says something like "he was so drunk he did not know what he was doing" and the punishment is not so severe as would be if the person had been sober. That is totally wrong I say. If someone is so drunk that s/he does not know what s/he is doing - his/her problem. You did something bad - you get punished and nobody cares if you were drunk or not. Your problem. Do not get drunk, that is.
gracehi 33
Let's get one thing straight. No one EVER brings rape upon themselves. I agree with you guys for the most part otherwise, though. While one may be less inhibited when drunk, usually the person is aware enough to not do anything they don't want to do when they're sober. And yes, people shouldn't let themselves get too drunk. I'm just telling you what the law is. Yet we can't deny that there's a level of drunkenness at which a person is not in control of themselves. Although, I would think they would lack the balance and coordination to beat someone up at that point, in response to that example. And there are times, particularly when someone has little experience with alcohol, that a person simply doesn't know their limits and gets far too drunk without meaning to.
annasaurusrex 2
Dump that **** bro
JoeGrant 12
I think that it is in your best interest to break up with her...
Inciter 33
You should dump her cheating ass. Seriously, being drunk is no excuse for sleeping with someone else.
randomreader2315 4
I hope you left that **** outside in the cold! Drunk or not, cheating is not acceptable. I'm sorry your (hopefully ex) girlfriend is a ***** :(
evilpokey 11
do it back with her best friend and say sorry I was drunk
LadyGore 12
See, girls. People in general actually. Try and use "I was drunk" as an excuse but really if they needed sex, they should have called YOU. Drunk people forget bodily functions not who their significant other is. Kick that cheating bitch off your doorstep.