Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She slapped me in the face, stormed out and won't answer my calls. What the hell? FML
Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, I drove three hours to surprise my girlfriend, who I hadn't seen in three weeks. When she opened the door, she gasped, told me to fuck off, and slammed the door in my face. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML
Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML
Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML
Today, I asked my wife for a kiss. She snarled, "I'm your WIFE, just fucking kiss me! You don't have to ask!" Later, I went in for a kiss and she slapped me, then yelled that it was my fault for "getting in her face." FML
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Top comments
watermelon15 35
This could go either way... I wonder if you did do something..
snoopy325 23
Girls have an uncanny way of figuring things out... And being psychotic. Good luck figuring out which it is!
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Comments (132)
guitar93cd 8
Well... Is your mom a bitch? But seriously, sorry man I know what it's like. I'd sit her down and just apologize.
weveallbeenthere 30
apologize for what, he doesn't know what he did wrong. He needs to figure out if he did something wrong.
skittyskatbrat 19
speaking as a woman, never do that with a crazy bitch because it'll just escalate and he'll find himself always apologizing for shit he didn't do and getting manipulated... Not worth it.
guitar93cd 8
Good point! Don't apologize, but keep calm and figure out why she's even mad at you
JuzReading 23
Let's hope that you can figure it out, before she keys your car or something
an3ph 20
Well… you son of a bitch.
AFaye3964 17
Think what was the last thing you said or Did to her?
weveallbeenthere 30
she's testing you, to see if you will fess up to something. Don't fall for it.
aliciavanham 13
If you really didn't do anything, she shouldn't treat you like that and END it.
dfair1987 16
Even if he did something she has no right to put hands on him.
jthmtwin 16
Here's a thought maybe we could tell the guys what they did so they have something to say sorry for? Not to mention a slap like that can lead down the path of abuse :/
Brandi_Faith 34
As a girl, I completely agree. I don't think it's fair to be mad at a guy without them even knowing why. Plus, you can't expect them to not do it again if they don't even know they did it.
Hime9908 22
Think back the smallest thing can set someone off be honest to her admit what you (think) you did and remember rule 21 women tell each other EVERYTHING
Jnjb1031 0
I would let that chick go. She might be crazy
captainsmegma 12
Well let me clue you in. You slept with her sister, got a bj from her best friend, kicked her cat, goosed her mother in the produce section at Wal-Mart, and have ****-erotic thoughts about having a threesome with her dad and little brother.
BeepBeepSwerve 9
or maybe he did nothing wrong and his gf is coo coo..
SystemofaBlink41 27
Or maybe OP's mother did all that... You know, considering she was the one OP's girlfriend insulted.