Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She slapped me in the face, stormed out and won't answer my calls. What the hell? FML
Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, I drove three hours to surprise my girlfriend, who I hadn't seen in three weeks. When she opened the door, she gasped, told me to fuck off, and slammed the door in my face. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML
Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML
Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML
Today, I asked my wife for a kiss. She snarled, "I'm your WIFE, just fucking kiss me! You don't have to ask!" Later, I went in for a kiss and she slapped me, then yelled that it was my fault for "getting in her face." FML
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Top comments
watermelon15 35
This could go either way... I wonder if you did do something..
snoopy325 23
Girls have an uncanny way of figuring things out... And being psychotic. Good luck figuring out which it is!
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Comments (132)
justinemalang1 14
Leave her. A girl with a logic like that is very difficult to be around. But first, ask her why she did that.
nandybear 19
For being a guy. And existing. That's all. Welcome to the female brain
jousselinn 5
Maybe she's trying to let you know that she likes it rough. Hopefully.
Murkyy 15
Slap her back.
yzzob 3
lol you prob deserved it...or she had a bad dream
by4x4 4
was it your first or second girlfriend? or your wife? we need to get who's who straight first
Jakespeed207 4
Don't apologize, OP. You have nothing to apologize for. Simply go up to her when possible and slap her back just as strongly but no more. If and When she asks why you slapped her, throw the question back at her. If that doesn't and she doesn't want to tell you, then I'd say to end it there.
spicyclubsauce 13
I can't stop laugh
Ipsum629 13
Men! we-don't-know-what-we-did
keely617 16
she must have heard bad rumors about you.