Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend left me for my best friend. Over a text message with "lol" in it. FML
Today, I sent a cute, jokey text to my girlfriend saying, "Just in case the world ends, I love you." Not only did she dump me because I was an "idiot for believing in the doomsday", which I don't, she also wrote a Facebook status about it. Now everyone thinks I'm mentally unstable. FML
Today, I sent my girlfriend a nice "Good morning" text after I woke up. Then I found a paper note stuck to my bedroom door, in which she broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and threw all my stuff out into the yard because she caught me "texting another woman". Guess it didn't matter to her that the contact name was "Mom". FML
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend saying she needed more phone credit, so I bought her more and got another message saying "Great, now I have enough credit for this..." as she spelled out a three page message breaking up with me. Yes, I paid for her to break up with me via text. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me via Twitter. FML
Today, I sent my girlfriend a text this morning saying I love you. I rarely do this and instead of receiving the same message back, I got a message from my girlfriend accusing me of meaning to send it to someone else and dumped me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML
Today, I was planning on breaking up with my girlfriend of five years in two days time. She just mailed me a care package that said, "I'd die without you." FML
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Top comments
sammyf89 13
Who fake dumps someone? Who dumps over txt msg? Gah, there is something wrong with your girl.
sabrina1212 2
What did she say back? :(
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Comments (221)
kiral_fml 2
your girlfrinds a bitch! fygf!
mellb_fml 3
I'd probably react the same way, what a cow
perdix 31
What she meant by "Just joking" is "This was just a practice run. There's this other guy I'm hot for and if things progress with him, I need to know I can get rid of you quickly." I looked this up on Google Translate, Girlfriend to English.
bubbywaldo 0
Excellent Perdix!
rattusrattus 19
You mean Bloody Wanktosser to English. Bloody wanktossers don't just pull this shit in relationships, and there are bloody wanktossers of all genders. Bloody wanktossers are everywhere! *tinfoil hat*
j_cat187 20
"we dispose of your loved ones humanly."
Queen_Cosmos 7
Aha, your comment made my day
unicorngirl123 0
Ohhhhhh my lord, the sadist thing that could happen to u. But the funniest fml.
bubbywaldo 0
Please look up sadist in the dictionary. You will get a laugh. You mean saddest.
rattusrattus 19
I dunno, I think what the girlfriend did counts as pretty sadistic.
Candice0687 0
I'm sorry but there is nothing funny about she has a warped since of humor, I would of text back after her and said I also don't like your sense of humor. fyl and sdi"she deserves it"
zen1979 16
Understatement
tigerarmychic 3
U shlda told her all of that before u thought shit went downhill
CoreyC07 10
What an idiot. She deserved it.
mentalkayse 7
agree with #69, it was a "practice run" lol
chels1994 11
She, for one, shouldn't joke about stuff like that over text message because there's no way to tell if they're joking or not. You, on the other hand, took it a bit too far and instead of being civil about it, you chose to act like a child. I see so many faults here...