Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend left me for my best friend. Over a text message with "lol" in it. FML
Today, I sent a cute, jokey text to my girlfriend saying, "Just in case the world ends, I love you." Not only did she dump me because I was an "idiot for believing in the doomsday", which I don't, she also wrote a Facebook status about it. Now everyone thinks I'm mentally unstable. FML
Today, I sent my girlfriend a nice "Good morning" text after I woke up. Then I found a paper note stuck to my bedroom door, in which she broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and threw all my stuff out into the yard because she caught me "texting another woman". Guess it didn't matter to her that the contact name was "Mom". FML
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend saying she needed more phone credit, so I bought her more and got another message saying "Great, now I have enough credit for this..." as she spelled out a three page message breaking up with me. Yes, I paid for her to break up with me via text. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me via Twitter. FML
Today, I sent my girlfriend a text this morning saying I love you. I rarely do this and instead of receiving the same message back, I got a message from my girlfriend accusing me of meaning to send it to someone else and dumped me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML
Today, I was planning on breaking up with my girlfriend of five years in two days time. She just mailed me a care package that said, "I'd die without you." FML
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Top comments
sammyf89 13
Who fake dumps someone? Who dumps over txt msg? Gah, there is something wrong with your girl.
sabrina1212 2
What did she say back? :(
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Comments (221)
wooley29 8
SHE was the immature one. They obviously are not in a place in their relationship where such a text is appropriate. Yeah, he could have taken a minute to respond but her text should not have been sent to begin with.
odexy 12
OP isn't a glowing beacon of maturity either. My initial reaction to being broken up with over text wouldn't be to explode into a rant about how awful the person "breaking up" with me is. The logical thing to do in this situation would be to ask what's wrong. :/ At least that's what I would do if someone text dumped me out of the blue for no apparent reason. What if it was a legit break up text and whatever happened was a simple misunderstanding? Wouldn't you rather initially try and see what's wrong to see if it's fixable instead of blowing up and telling them they suck?
Cho_Chip_Cookie 0
*facepalm*
HandsomeRatch 20
Your girlfriend has a funny sense of humor..... Seriously, who in their right minf would fake-break-up with someone and think it's funny?
laden_swallow09 35
I once knew a person who thought it'd be funny to pretend that one of my friends was dead on her front lawn through text… Bitches be crazy.
HandsomeRatch 20
Crap, *mind. Damn typo.
choshaki 8
That's not funny at all, but you should've waited a couple of days before sending that text. Well let's hope she gets you're sense of "humour" as well.
choshaki 8
Your*
DocBastard 40
FML has taught me that you have several options in this situation: A) My sister stole my phone and sent that! B) My iPod autocorrect messed up C) lol just kidding! D) I meant that to go to my mother Any one of these should work according to FML posters. Good luck.
Dracoboxer357 36
^ I'd like to pick A) as my final answer, for the $32,000, Regis. ;P
LadyGore 12
That's so true.
Shadow_Phantom 26
Wow. You NEVER joke about breaking up with someone. If you really typed that long of a list, it's probably best you split. FYL.
MoogleSam 8
Both of you are clearly immature idiots. She is one for sending a fake breakup text and you are one for retaliating like a child. Who the hell sends a list of things they hate about someone to them just for breaking up with them? That's immature to the max and completely heartless too. You should never retaliate at someone for deciding you aren't right for them, whether they are joking or not, as all you will be doing is causing unnecessary pain. You are someone who will not last in a long term relationship if you react to things in such an immature manner.
Bacontree 14
If someone breaks up with you through text, I think there's still a lot you could do to retaliate while keeping the moral high ground. Breaking up via text is a very cowardly way and although compiling a list of things you hate about someone might not be the most mature way to respond, I could perfectly understand why OP would want to.
ehllychan 10
OP never said what was in her text, just that she broke up with him. How can you tell she didn't call him names and was needless cruel in the way she "broke up" either? How can you be sure he reacted without provocation and that his reason was just "breaking up"? If she sends a break up text as a prank and gives him enough time to write the whole hate list before saying it was a joke just to imagine him feeling bad, I definitely wouldn't be surprised if she had started the whole hate list thing in the first text.
downtime 13
52, Nobody could recover from a "joke" like that. The fake break up is one thing, but if they were to include "heres a list of shit I hate about you" to it, you might as well just follow through with a proper break up on the grounds of "I'm a complete moron".
Bacontree 14
I hope you included her ridiculous sense of humour in that list of yours. Gosh.
raboof 4
There's also something not quite right when you can relatively quickly come up with a 'list of things you hate' that she didn't know about. If you guys can get over the fact that both of you were being jerks and talk this through this might turn into a new more honest/open start.
Cho_Chip_Cookie 0
*facepalm*