Today, I went to a Mexican restaurant with my family. I got stuck trying to decide whether I should get the fajitas or the tacos. I ended up getting the tacos because I didn't want the fajitas to come in sizzling, and I didn't want to "make a scene". My social anxiety has hit a new low. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to work on my social anxiety by ordering some food. I waited in line, practicing my order in my head all the way. When I got to the front, I said my order with no mistakes. The cashier just stared blankly at me until I mumbled, "Never mind..." and left. FML
Today, my family and I went to Olive Garden. Due to my autism, I sometimes have a nervous tic, which presented itself while I was looking at the menu. I would have appreciated it if my mom hadn't then screamed at me to stop in front of the entire restaurant. FML
Today, I was at a food truck festival and I spotted a taco truck and eagerly ordered a spicy taco. As I took my first bite, the spice hit me like a freight train and I began to choke. In an effort to save myself, I dropped the taco into the lap of the guy sitting next to me. He looked up, lap splattered in salsa, and asked if I was having a stroke. FML
Today, I went to a very crowded restaurant. Being really shy, I requested to sit in the corner, but instead they placed me in the center of the dinning area. I started to eat my food and got really spaced out. Suddenly I sneeze-farted and everyone turned to look at me. FML
Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized my really cute waiter, along with his buddies kept looking at me and smiling. Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito, choked, and spilled ground beef down my new shirt and in my bra. They laughed the whole time. FML
Today, my wife took me to Taco Bell for the first time. I said, "Isn't this where all those FMLs happen to people?" She said, "You'll be fine." I am writing this from the toilet. I am not fine. FML
Today, I have an awful stomach virus. I can only drink liquids and can't eat anything solid, especially anything spicy. My dad forced me to eat the fajitas he'd made for dinner and screamed at me when I told him I couldn't, then screamed at me again for "wasting food" when I predictably threw up all over the floor. FML
Today, my friend asked me to order take out for him because he gets nervous on phones. I called a Chinese restaurant, only to get nervous, and hang up. FML
Today, while standing in line at a local Mexican fast food place, I was feeling generous and let a little kid behind me go in front. Turns out he had a list, and was ordering food for his whole family. I had to wait 30 minutes to get my food. FML
Today, I got up the courage to go to a nice place for lunch alone. I wasn't expecting the Tilapia I ordered to be the whole fish, so I asked the waiter for a box because, "I forgot about an appointment in 20 minutes," just so he wouldn't think I was an idiot who didn't know what I was ordering. FML
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Top comments
br0ccoli 15
Everyone is born with a big entrance. But when you grow up, people tell you to be demure and unassuming. **** it! Order the sizzle!! It's worth it. If other people have a problem, that's their fault ;)
MrBoredGuy 1
The ****?
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Comments (135)
drakhasa 0
that sucks man, i used to be like that.
GothicAngel17 24
is anybody else raging at the FML app for iPod/iPhone right about now? I know I freakin' well am.
Dracoboxer357 36
19- Yes, thought it was just mine though. ;) Bleh.
ssnowywinter 0
35- mine wont show the ones that were between this FML and the butthole one :/
desireev 18
My comments keep getting placed in completely random spots. And FMLs from last week show up on the top of my 'recent' list. The app is making me aaaanngrrrryyyy!! >:[
olpally 33
I have a similar problem.. But Then I start drinking a beer and open up to everyone :D
Justin23L 2
I do this too. And I refrain from eating things that are across the table becaue I'm too scared to ask someone to pass it. :(
ladyLALAA 29
OP, and the kids above. Live large, if people don't like you who cares. Negativity isn't worth your time, learn to love yourself and the people around you will too!
benmec 18
Agreed Lala. "If you don't love yourself, how the hell somebody else gonna love you? Can I get an Amen sistah? -RuPaul's Drag Race
anoellem 1
Please get some confidence.
br0ccoli 15
Everyone is born with a big entrance. But when you grow up, people tell you to be demure and unassuming. **** it! Order the sizzle!! It's worth it. If other people have a problem, that's their fault ;) You can't live your life seeking approval from others. That's a recipe for mediocrity and depression.
tennisrapper1 14
Same here. Lucky for me the app glitched up and wouldn't let me comment until way after #1. Don't keep your guard down! One day...
outch_fml 0
Watch for the beans
Idonebeenhad 17
Search up '****** shot' on FML. I gotz a foist comment! And yeah...the app bugging out was reeeally annoying
br0ccoli 15
Everyone is born with a big entrance. But when you grow up, people tell you to be demure and unassuming. **** it! Order the sizzle!! It's worth it. If other people have a problem, that's their fault ;)
kelissa_fml 16
I thought the entrance was kinda small....
jcard1224 0
Same thing with mine. :(
jcard1224 0
That was suppose to be a reply to #49. How the hell it ended up here, I don't know.
tennisrapper1 14
Im sorry for posting 2 comments the fml app was glitching and I didn't think comment #8 went through... EDIT: I thought I replied to my comment 8. Apparently the app glitched again!
weesnaw_08 7
And now you've posted 3.
thatgirlinoregon 21
To be fair, though, the application (at least in my experience on the iPhone) is extremely glitchy, to the point of not registering comments at all after having 'successfully posted' them. It's very vexing.
ohmandapants 17
Refresh the page, it'll be there.
silentbutfunny 0
Its been glitchy lately, i wouldn't blame the commenter on this
br0ccoli 15
Everyone is born with a big entrance. But when you grow up, people tell you to be demure and unassuming. **** it! Order the sizzle!! It's worth it. If other people have a problem, that's their fault ;)
tow38 7
Hahaha that is a sad story of a social deprived boy
yahoowizard 16
Oh my, I thought I was the only person who hated the freezing part of grocery stores =0. Yes, not alone on this, I'm normal again! (well, not entirely, but close enough!)
jojoboy 0
Oh my, I think someone needs to get out of the freezer isle, and get some help in the flirting isle
kewlkate 9
Obviously not sad enough to make you think twice about laughing at the poor person!
koolkat27 13
^someone needs to get out of the asshole aisle
TimeDisposalEngi 14
^LOL
cannibletaco 6
15- You're somewhat of an asshole for joking about social anxiety. On the other hand, howdy neighbor! *insert stereotypical southern voice here*
yahoowizard 16
So much for me coming out about my fear of grocery stores. I shall keep this a secret again now x.x.
br0ccoli 15