Today, my girlfriend asked me to hold her purse while shopping. All of a sudden, a robber punched me in the face and took her purse. She started crying about her purse and told me to get off the ground because I was embarrassing her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Hand it over
Today, my girlfriend totally emasculated me and made me a laughing stock when we got mugged and, instead of just handing over her purse like the guy said, she took out a stun gun and used it on him while I freaked out and cried. Now all my friends are laughing at me. FML
Today, My girlfriend came from behind me and put her hand in my back pockets. I though it was someone trying to take my wallet, I elbowed her in the nose and broke it. FML
Today, I went to the movies. After it was over I got up and noticed a designer purse sitting on the ground in the back row. I opened it to look for anything that could give me a address so I could return it. The owner came back, assumed I was robbing her, and punched me in the nose. FML
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Great timing
Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML
Cool your jets, lady
Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, I got punched in the face by a girl for asking if she was okay after I had seen her crying. FML
Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML
Get back here!
Today, I was trying to propose to my girlfriend when some scumbag snatched the ring and bolted. I chased him down, tackled him, and punched him until he gave the ring back. Now my girl is upset, crying, "What if he was hungry and needed to buy food? You didn't have to hurt him." FML
Top comments
juliahockey 0
what a bitch.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Shoulda had a v8!!(:
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Comments (182)
Person1233 13
YDI for dating a toddler.
bubble25_fml 5
ydi for letting a female make u hold her purse. u should thank that mugger for taking you out of you emasculate misery. next time she tells u to hold her purse be a man and point her to the kitchen and say "go make me a sammich!"
nutsackmuscle 0
^ win.
catnip216 0
#19, Wtf are you talking about? He's calling the girl a toddler, because she threw a fit, not dissing the guy for being on the ground.
catnip216 0
And #33 & #35, fail. OP's girlfriend sounds like a dumb whiny bitch, and he should probably find someone else, but that doesn't mean he should be an asshole to all women. Grow up and learn to make your own ******* 'sammiches'. Your girlfriend is not your mom (unless something REALLY ****** up is going on).
Ryanfmlfiend 0
dude you totally deserved it as a man it's your job to protect your woman and by extension what is hers don't be such a punk get your lame @$$ up and run after the guy you freaking pansy.
jmmille 0
This FML seems fake.
mayoral26 0
what a pussy !!
evillittleme 5
and what if OP was a chick? nothing indicates that OP is a boy..
MyChemical_fml 0
(the name is Alex)....(oh wait that's a boy and girls name).... (shit) (it's still usually a boys name...) (smd)
Link5794 18
Your picture is very fitting.
sterlingarcher 1
that stinks! sorry op! :(
InnocentLies 0
Did you even read the fml? xD
sterlingarcher 1
lol my badz..
juliahockey 0
what a bitch.
Stallion19 0
yea I agree
bgonebryce 7
ya dude
abes22 0
agreed
MyChemical_fml 0
With^^^
Gondile 4
Definitely
juliahockey 0
what a bitch.
Radix 3
shoulda punched him back or seen him
sterlingarcher 1
lol :)
MissBunny25 0
hahaha seen him.. that made me laugh
deliciouscake 3
somebody ain't been robbed before. they go for breaking your nose, or clipping your chin, grab an item, and then haul ass, he didn't have a chance if the robber was smart
Darknesskilla 0
******* bitch...
funktown 2
hahahha
missdoll7 0
that sucks.
TheJtSwift 0
Man up p★$$y! LOLL! Anyone agreeHaHaHaHaHa...
macho4819 0
lol agreed
Joel Nukl 14
I agree
macho4819 0
u should have got up nd hit her ffs
KMilliron 2
Hit a woman? FYL for being a f***ing piece of shit. Macho my ass.
jess6blondie9 3
Wow. You should NEVER hit a woman. Only cowardly men hit women. If any man ever laid a hand on me they'd be screwed. I seriously hope that you were joking. Otherwise, I hope your girlfriend/wife gets away from you asap.
Fuzzbump 5
You should never hit anyone, period (unless there absolutely is no other way).
flipcrazy 0
So what if you're fighting a guy, and his good female friend/girlfriend jumps in and starts hitting you? What should you do?
Hello_kitty_love_fml 0
Boys can only hit you when your in the age of a child or early teens. For instense, did your brother use to hit you? He did to me, we just curse now but not hit. But otherwise, hitting girls in there late teens and as a woman is wrong!
jess6blondie9 3
Even if you were in a fight, and someone's girlfriend starts to jump in, that gives you no right go hit her. She shouldn't get in the middle of it, but that doesn't give you an excuse to hit her. When you're younger, of course siblings are going to fight. My brother and I always fight. It doesn't make it right for me to hit him, or him to hit me; but it's different when you're young.
Lopee069 4
You shouldnt be hitting anyone. So a woman can bitch slap me but I cant even hit her? In my opinion its all sexist, no one should be hitting anyone at all.
Cenobyte 10
Yes, he should have hit his girlfriend. Since he was incapable of hitting the guy who just punched him and was currently making off with his girlfriends money, credit cards, identification documents etc etc... Yes, I suppose that would help him feel like a man again. Right?
KMilliron 2
If a girl jumps in on a fight she's stupid. Take care of the guy first then restrain, but not hit, the female friend until she either calms down or someone else such as a friend comes to get her. As a chick personally I don't fight other girls cause their too catty. I restrain them, guys I'll fight back in self defense and then some.
Keyman1212 14
I am not for hitting women because I am a gentleman. HOWEVER. If you women demand equality with men, you'd better roll with the punches, pun intended, because EVERYTHING will be equal, not just some stuff.
instantmusic 4
"Shouldnt hit girls." Really? You really shouldn't hit anyone ever unless an extreme circumstance calls for it(life threatening, for example), and if the circumstance is extreme enough to justify physical violence, I'll use it on a man or woman. Women ARE suppose to be equal to men right? So they should be able to take an a$$ beating like a man right? You can't pick and choose with equality, you have to take the good AND the bad that comes with being an "equal".
r6_fml 4
If I'm in a fight and a woman jumps in I'm gonna knock her the **** out. It has nothing to do with "feeling like a man", nobody is going to hurt me. I don't give a shit who you are. If you act like a man expect to get treated like one.
flipcrazy 0
Im the same way. In any kind of violent situation you do what needs to be done. I don't care if you're this Jessi girl or some ghetto wanna be gangster, if you hit me, I hit you.
flipcrazy 0
I feel that you shouldn't distinguish. In any kind of situation that involves violence, you have the right to defend yourself. Whether it's a man or woman.
flipcrazy 0
I feel that you shouldn't distinguish. In any kind of situation that involves violence, you have the right to defend yourself. Whether it's a man or woman.
jess6blondie9 3
You know what? Women and men go to jail for abusing eachother. It's not right for a woman to hit a man either, but at the same time men shouldn't ever hit women. It would be different if the woman was attacking the man and he was trying to protect himself, but a man who has issues and hits a woman to take his anger away? That's flat wrong. Disagree all that you want, men are stronger than women and shouldn't lay a finger on them.
Keyman1212 14
Well Jess, by that same token, men must be smarter than women so the should get paid more. And men are more brave so they should be on the front lines of a war while women get to be in safer locations. Come on, your logic is flawed.
fthku 13
Ya know Jess, not every guy is as strong as the next guy either If the situation calls for it, it doesn't matter if it's a woman or a man. By your logic, it's OK for an angry girlfriend to slap her boyfriend, because he's a man and it doesn't really hurt him, but it's practically a SIN if the guy does it? Neither should do it, please think harder on what you say.
flipcrazy 0
So basically it's only okay for a man to hit a woman if he's defending himself but it's not okay for a man to hit a woman because men are stronger than women? So I can hit you if you hit me but I can't hit you because I'm a man so I'm automatically stronger?
macho4819 0
lmao all u fool have seem to have takin my joke verry serius... FYI ITS A ******* JOKE u spitfucks nd if yall cant handle a joke den dnt read the comments left -.-
macho4819 0
agree with the first half but u should have just stoped their lol cuz iv seen some women beat the hell outta their men
Keyman1212 14
I only took seriously the serious responses that followed your asinine comment. However, with grammar like yours, I'm also taking your comments seriously because you probably believe the shit you're spewing.
TBfml15 9
If she's swinging and/or does the shit that this hoe pulled I don't see why you shouldn't
TBfml15 9
Shut up. You don't know what you're talking about at all.
TBfml15 9
Kill a bitch.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Shoulda had a v8!!(:
Colin466 0
Win!
LilDerpSauce 0
WIN
josephhhhhh 0
lose
sooobe 3
draw
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
Overtime!
payts412 0
shootout
97currie 0
combo breaker! (I've always wanted to do that.)