Today, my girlfriend asked me to hold her purse while shopping. All of a sudden, a robber punched me in the face and took her purse. She started crying about her purse and told me to get off the ground because I was embarrassing her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend totally emasculated me and made me a laughing stock when we got mugged and, instead of just handing over her purse like the guy said, she took out a stun gun and used it on him while I freaked out and cried. Now all my friends are laughing at me. FML
Today, My girlfriend came from behind me and put her hand in my back pockets. I though it was someone trying to take my wallet, I elbowed her in the nose and broke it. FML
Today, I went to the movies. After it was over I got up and noticed a designer purse sitting on the ground in the back row. I opened it to look for anything that could give me a address so I could return it. The owner came back, assumed I was robbing her, and punched me in the nose. FML
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML
Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, I got punched in the face by a girl for asking if she was okay after I had seen her crying. FML
Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML
Today, I was trying to propose to my girlfriend when some scumbag snatched the ring and bolted. I chased him down, tackled him, and punched him until he gave the ring back. Now my girl is upset, crying, "What if he was hungry and needed to buy food? You didn't have to hurt him." FML
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Top comments
juliahockey 0
what a bitch.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Shoulda had a v8!!(:
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Comments (182)
bubble25_fml 5
the pink Justin Bieber tank-top made me rofl
lionheart822 13
I say it your GF's fault, because she handed you the purse. everyone knows that you can't go around socking girls in the face so the instant you got the purse, everyone's eyes around you lit up in dollar signs. the guy that hit you was just first to the punch.(not intended but still funny) ;D
suave0510 0
Ch-Ching XD
Nick_Stevens 3
She sounds delightful.
varkey 7
break up with that bitch FYL
ShutMeOut 0
YDI for being a wuss. Maybe she could protect you next time. lol.
TinyDude 10
lols punch her in her face, den dump her.
KMilliron 2
See reply to comment 11.
Stupidpeopleanno 5
She embarassed herself by breaking down and crying. Then being a hypocrite and saying you're the embarassing one.
fatazzkid 0
u suck... I would of beat the shit out of the robber
jess6blondie9 3
I bet :)
crizzy101 5
ur girlfriend is a bitch
Jasonf6 0
Pls tell me you dumped the bitch!