Today, I was elected to learn how to clean the birthing tub at the hospital I work at. Today, I also discovered that while blood doesn't bother me, floating chunks of afterbirth and god knows what else, will cause me to projectile vomit into said tub. Which I still had to clean afterwards. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I started my new job as a janitor at a store. The first thing that happened when I came in was another employee telling me that there was vomit in the restroom, and that I had to clean it up. Not only did I clean up vomit, I had to clean up the poop that made the kid puke in the first place. FML
Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML
Today, because I am pregnant with a weak bladder, I woke up with morning sickness and had to decide very quickly whether I wanted to vomit or pee in the toilet. I now have to clean the chunks off the wall. FML
Today, we had a patient projectile vomiting in our ambulance. I didn't know she had puked on our cot until I found it with my bare hand at the hospital. FML
Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML
Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML
Today, because I have an inner ear problem which gives me major vertigo and nausea, I spontaneously projectile vomited all over my bathroom. FML
Today, I was at my job as a dental assistant and I was told to take an X-ray of a woman's teeth. As soon as I put the foam piece into her mouth, she projectile-vomited all over me and the floor. I had just started my 5-hour shift. FML
Today, at work, a kid rushed into the bathroom to vomit. Understandable, except he threw up into the sinks. Sinks plural, whose drain holes are so small that only liquid can really pass through. Guess who had to clean up vomit chunks. FML
Today, I got projectile-vomited on while trying to administer meds to a patient. Twenty minutes later, a patient with schizophrenia threw his shitty diaper at my face. All this happened in the first hour of my 12-hour shift. I didn't bring any extra scrubs and I live an hour away from work. FML
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Top comments
fuckyourlifeOP 25
Hey, you chose to work at the hospital. Can't cut the cord now.
KuzzBuzz3 15
what got me was "chunks" I have 2 kids and I don't even want to know what those "chunks of after birth" are.
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Comments (67)
TinaBelcher2016 9
This is one of those very very FML moments. You've to post about it, just give it some time.
HarshD9619 34
Are you high?
PoptartsKid 13
High on life, drugs are illegal man!
wallamanut 14
Not in Alaska, Washington, Oregon, Colorado, or Washington D.C. man!
DawnofDark 15
English... You should try it haha...
razoray9 22
23. U ********** on airplanes too
JuliaaNoelle 26
#16 since when is it legal in DC? Lol
fuckyourlifeOP 25
Hey, you chose to work at the hospital. Can't cut the cord now.
OysterPearls 33
You've just gotta push through it, OP!
em_the_g 12
Was that pun intended? Like umbilical cord?
Hash13 13
This makes me think. Should the said new mother's birthing partner, her husband, be asked to clean the tube ?
countryb_cth 38
@55 no he/she shouldn't, because they used a hospital tub so it wasn't a home birth and its her job.
tehdarkness 21
Just wait till you get to the fecal matter!
vixypixys 13
My cousin shat herself while giving birth. I got away with it both times but it's quite common. It feels like an epic burning shit. Obviously with a special outcome.
cakefete2 31
Not necessarily. You'd be surprised what comes out when you're pushing that hard.
coming back in the future 30
#25 TMI
nix1993 41
I was a volunteer nurse for a few years through uni, and it never fails to make me laugh how many women think that they were the exception, and that they never shat themselves whilst giving birth just because they never noticed. When in reality like 95% of women do, just nobody tells you about it. A nurse wipes it away immediately, nobody turns round and go "By the way, you just pooped yourself, but we're used to it, it's cool!". Most women don't even realise they've done it, but chances are, if you've given birth naturally, you've shit in front of someone.
coltonte3 5
I'd rather clean up shit than afterbirth. *pukes*
mommy2cassidy 18
#48 I didn't poop when I had my daughter. I had a mirror to watch her come out so I would have seen.
KuzzBuzz3 15
what got me was "chunks" I have 2 kids and I don't even want to know what those "chunks of after birth" are.
0goniok 5
Amniotic sac, mucus, some women shit when giving birth. It is not a clean process.
shessohighh 10
I started gagging when I read the FML and reading these comments is making me gag harder. Childbirth is one of those things that is both beautiful and disgusting at the same time.
thatsLEGENDARY 15
It's worse witnessing it; it's not only thought but the sight and smell. There's a reason why they say you'll never forget it. And of course the moment you see your baby! I'm not surprised some people pass out.
ZY1431 24
i bet thats mild to all the other things that happen at hospitals
MrsPegg 45
Amputations for example. Someone has to dispose of the removed parts.
cakefete2 31
Yea, gotta hand it to those folks. That's a tough job to stomach.
devildog562 33
I would rather have amputated parts to dispose of, rather then after birth. I don't know why it's just the smell and awkwardness of labor and delivery.... Oh and on the rare occasion that the mom asks for the placenta to eat it.
vixypixys 13
My husband and his friend ate mine ? I had pizza.
Karenezzy 20
'Chunks' as in pieces if the placenta?
devildog562 33
Placenta, amniotic sac, blood clotting, vaginal/ uterine wall lining, and like previously stated, lot of women push out more then vaginal fluid.
ckerane 16
FYL
VeganDarkLight 31
Pretty sure there's a button for that.
razoray9 22
Really. I had no idea
killuhand 12
was he talking to you razor?
bombielol 20
now that's a rough job): so sorry op
patrickeli 15
Ugh, that's vile.
Jenniesaurus 14
Baby, sounds like you got a shitty deal there...