Today, My girlfriend came from behind me and put her hand in my back pockets. I though it was someone trying to take my wallet, I elbowed her in the nose and broke it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML
Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me to hold her purse while shopping. All of a sudden, a robber punched me in the face and took her purse. She started crying about her purse and told me to get off the ground because I was embarrassing her. FML
Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were walking around when she got lost in a crowd. And me, being a pig, playfully grabbed her butt. I realized it wasn't hers when the guy whose butt I'd grabbed by accident knocked me unconscious. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
JustAGirl_fml 0
F HER life, not yours.
magnusip 0
damn. talking bout fast reaction.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (43)
magnusip 0
damn. talking bout fast reaction.
JustAGirl_fml 0
F HER life, not yours.
skater19 0
f her life, not yours, AGREED
Blank_fml 0
haha Don't worry I used to do the same thing sometimes it still happens but my friends know better than to try things like that on me. I don't apologize if I hit them like that, they clearly know what would happen. Not that I don't feel bad it's just that it's not my fault. Did she know that was gonna happen?
CanadAssassiN 0
OMFG I hope she forgave you.....right? i~i
CanadAssassiN 0
Haha, I guess so...I hope she made him pay for it though...
uh_oh 0
How short is your girlfriend that you managed to elbow her in the nose while she was behind you?
Kat_MS 0
Her fault. You don't just go running around shoving your hand into someone elses pocket before they get a chance to see you. Couple or not. But yeah, still sucks for her, even if it was her fault :(
supwithitk 0
-.-" Lol. Wow
Tri_fml 5
Ouch! Sucks to be you. I've nearly done the same thing a couple times - still haven't learned not to keep my wallet in my back pocket.. it's just so DAMN convenient!
johobus28 26
I always keep mine up front in a separate pocket from my phone. That way, A: you're not always sitting on it, B: it's easier to grab while in front, and most importantly, C: it's a LOT harder for someone to pickpocket your front pockets without being seen, so it's always safer up front