Today, my alcoholic father volunteered that he was cutting back on his drinking… by switching from gin martinis to vodka martinis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my father got out of rehab for his alcoholism. This would be great if he hadn't started drinking the moment he got home. FML
Today, it's my one-year anniversary of being sober. For the occasion, my father decided to spice-up my non-alcoholic cocktail with booze. I didn't realize, and drank it. FML
Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML
Today, after my dad recently had to go sober or face dying within a year, it turns out that without the alcohol, his personality still sucks. He used to be a drunk asshole, but now he’s just an asshole. At least when he was drunk he used to pass out. Now he can be an asshole all night without stopping. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
Today, my dad decided to have a little father and daughter bonding time. Unfortunately, his idea of bonding involves him sitting around at home, getting piss drunk, and falling asleep. FML
Today, I told my Dad I was an alcoholic and had decided to seek help. His reply, "Don't stop drinking, you are the life of the party, funny and beautiful when you drink." FML
Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML
Today, my parents finally realized that I've been sneaking vodka when they weren't home. Note to self: don't let them freeze vodka that's actually 75% water. FML
Today, my father got drunk and became crazy. He just kept talking nonsense and swaying while walking. It seemed like he was going to vomit. I hate him being like this. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
The new 2-step Program for overcoming alcoholism. Step 1. Admit you have a problem Step 2. Fix the problem with vodka Step 3. There is no Step 3
Yudith 28
Try this new product that gives a shitty taste to alcohol. That will help him cut back on his drinking.
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Comments (2)
RichardPencil 32
The new 2-step Program for overcoming alcoholism. Step 1. Admit you have a problem Step 2. Fix the problem with vodka Step 3. There is no Step 3
Yudith 28
Try this new product that gives a shitty taste to alcohol. That will help him cut back on his drinking.