Anonymous
Saint Louis, United States
Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, because I tipped our waitress at dinner. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Today, my boyfriend and I had a lovely dinner date. Our waitress was really sweet, so we talked about leaving her a big tip. When we got home, we discovered we both thought the other person had left it. FML
a single fuck
Berlin, Germany
Today, my girlfriend actually yelled, "Why are you making this all about YOU?!" after I confronted her over cheating on me. FML
Nico711
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
Anonymous
Kingston, Canada
Today, my girlfriend dyed her hair from blonde to brunette. An hour later, she found one of her blonde hairs on my pillow, and accused me of cheating. FML
Anonymous
Spokane, United States
Unreasonable
Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, all because I don't text her throughout the day. Last week she told me she would get fired if she was caught reading texts at work, and to stop texting her during her work hours. FML
jackzz
Hanoi, Vietnam
Today, at the restaurant I work at, my own mom refused to give a tip and complained to my boss. FML
bad day Brutus
United States
Today, I confessed to cheating to my girlfriend. She decided to go up to the girl and ask her about it. The girl denied it and said she didn't even know me. My girlfriend walked up to me, called me a liar and punched me in the face. FML
Fuck you guys!
Always tip generously
Today, I overheard a waitress calling me a cheapskate because I left a $2 tip on a $9 tab. When I told her she was ungrateful, rude, and unprofessional, she burst into tears and told the manager I’d threatened her. I was then banned from the restaurant, all while the little twat smirked. FML
petmosch
Today, I came up with the idea of pranking my girlfriend by telling her that I knew she was cheating on me. She then apologized. FML
Anonymous
Prienai, Lithuania
Today, my psycho and now ex-girlfriend accused me of cheating on her with my own mother. FML
Top comments
Pleonasm 36
Did you stick your dollars into her cleavage? You know, this isn't a strip-joint. Or maybe you chequed her out just a little too much. Talk about good service! It's dime to face the consequences.
Cainicide 5
Just the tip?
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Comments (116)
Pleonasm 36
Did you stick your dollars into her cleavage? You know, this isn't a strip-joint. Or maybe you chequed her out just a little too much. Talk about good service! It's dime to face the consequences.
IndigoFuckYou 9
I tip my hat to your puns, sir. I wouldn't change them one bit, and pay no mind to anyone who would.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Or maybe your girlfriend smelled her cent on you. Why else would she accuse you of giving another woman a pound-ing?!
Pleonasm 36
You think I wouldn't notice euro-so subtle change of currency, tourettesguy? :p
TourettesGuyFTW 26
It was quite Franc. But, you're on Mark today Pleo! ;)
alan831 9
God damn I ******* love you guys^^
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Don't you mean 'god DIRHAM I love you guys'? ;)
njgohard 16
I ruble don't know what you guys are talking about.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
88- that was awful. Peso off!!
sjdbeinska 4
hopefully she didnt leave you her number on the reciept
Cainicide 5
Just the tip?
beddington 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Best response of the day! Well done sir, well done!
sux4u121 10
61, did you know there is a thumbs up button for that?
little_one 20
That's not all he gave her
scarface90 8
Tip doesn't count
ICastillo 25
Well when you tip a waitress you don't put it in her bra OP.
marxistbkly 3
Considering he most likely just met her, get his tip in her bra is pretty good.
crimsonlover4 31
Yup, that's one of the first signs of cheating OP, you ol tipper you.
cbrods_94 2
He's not cheating you idiot...
crimsonlover4 31
105- ever heard of sarcasm, a joke dumbass?
mea_iloveskiing 26
I guess you're not Mr Pink then.
LaLince 40
fantastic
BossPathfinderGM 14
Haven't you heard, tipping is the new proposition?
applexj 13
Somebody is looking for a reason for it to be over.
SkoomaKi 28
OP - "Yeah babe I tipped her and then smiled at her! How'd you like those apples?!".
poupoule24 2
My mom did the same thing to my dad once. Apparently giving her 15 dollars instead of 14 is "leaving the doors open" for her to start a relationship with him. O.o Yeah... bitches be crazy.