Today, my four year old told my mother-in-law that our house is haunted because she hears a ghost at night saying "oh" and daddy's name as if they're hurt. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 10-year-old son told my 5-year-old daughter that we're a ghost family, and told her to run through our glass door to see for herself. She believed it, ran straight into the door, and ended up having to be taken to hospital. FML
Today, I found out that my 4-year-old son is truly convinced that I am a ghost. He also thinks that I died from burning, "because of your face". FML
Today, my little sister asked what the noises were last night. It happened to be my dad and his girlfriend fooling around. I ended up telling her it was ghosts. Now I'm grounded by my dad who yelled at me for scaring her. I was trying to save his ass from a lot of questions. FML
Today, I was awoken by a conversation my mom was having with my dog upstairs. She was telling my dog that a ghost lives in our house. She was completely serious. The ghost even has a name and a backstory. FML
Today, my parents watched a horror movie with some creepy child in it. Apparently, I sound just like that kid when I call for my mom, so now she doesn't want me to call her mom anymore. FML
Today, my coworker said that she suddenly got the shivers. I jokingly told her that it meant she must be being watched by a dead person and made stupid ghost noises. She then told me it was the anniversary of her dad's death and burst into tears. FML
Today, my girlfriend thinks my house is filled with ghosts. She can only hear them when I fart. FML
Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML
Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML
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Top comments
sourgirl101 29
Grandma: "Honey, there's no such things as ghosts. That's just mommy getting laid" ^Now there's an FML ;)
Jessi_the_sexii 0
lol ydi for being a screamer
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Comments (164)
qaz230lord 1
so you already have a kid
sk8trzero53 0
kids say the darnedest
hannah1203 2
I laughed so hard at this...Maybe you should soundproof your walls..?
Trollz4daLULZ 2
YDI for buying a house on an Indian burial ground, digging up the bodies, pissing on them, and then re-burying them upside-down. If your goldfish starts murdering people, you KNOW you're ******.
bestdayever023 0
ha, maybe rethink things with the kids home?
JokeMeister 0
Contrary to popular belief, kids can hear.
SeaNDouble 1
hahahahaha that's so funny!
heart_aussie_fml 20
cute ! I guess you kind of deserve it for being so loud while your daughter's trying to sleep
Lisa89 3
Quieter sex from now on?
YDI4nogoodreason 0
YDI for having a ghost in your house.
Trollz4daLULZ 2
beat you to it.