Today, as I was about to open a door at school, a student opened it and hit me. As I recovered and was about to open it again, someone else opened the door, hitting me again. Everyone laughed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to jokingly hold the door shut so my friend, who I'd seen walking down the hall to our class, couldn't get in. It was funny, until my new teacher yelled "Open the damn door!" from the other side. FML
Today, I was walking through the main lobby at school and I saw someone waving at me, so I waved back. Turns out she was just cleaning a glass door. I heard laughter behind me. FML
Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML
Today, I was in a hurry trying to get into my locker, but it stuck. After a few frustrating attempts, I finally managed to get it open. In anger, I threw the door open, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. My natural reflex was to jerk forward, giving myself a black eye from the hook inside. I got in a fight with my locker and lost. FML
Today, while skating to school, I got hit by a car, In front of the school. I went flying and everyone saw. The girl who hit me only said, "Oops, didn't see you." FML
Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class, I did the same thing to him. He broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team. Nobody laughed. FML
Today, in between the passing times at school, one of my classmates opened the door to my next class, so I turned to tell him thank you. Apparently, he was opening it for the teacher who was leaving. I collided with her and her very hot cup of coffee. FML
Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML
Today, at school, I saw the guy I like at his locker. I decided to run up from behind and surprise him. I ended up accidentally slamming his locker on his fingers. FML
Today, ignoring the unspoken rule of not entering the bus when the driver's not inside, I went in while he was taking a break. As I stepped inside, he reached in the window and pressed the "close-door" button. It closed on my hand. Everyone at the bus stop laughed as I yelped in pain. FML
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Top comments
MelTheGreat 23
I totally pictured a montage with "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" playing.
kinky44 28
Third times the charm
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Comments (64)
MelTheGreat 23
I totally pictured a montage with "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" playing.
vadaaa 11
No one else did.
MrBrightside21 20
I pictured one of The Doors' hit songs. Oh, the hypothetical irony.
MrBrightside21 20
^The Doors - Love Me Two Times Sorry I couldn't get that in the edit, but I'm not gonna let a perfect chance for better irony get away like that.
raesos91 26
♪"don't ya love her when she's walkin' out the door?"♪
lambda_fml 40
Its deja vu. You are in the Matrix.
AKGirlinSD 20
I'm right there with you, 1. Also, OP, thank you for having manners by opening doors for others. My boyfriend insists on opening the door for me (which took me a while to get used to) and once in a while, he's stuck holding the door for 20 people. But he refuses to stop opening doors for others first and, OP, I hope you keep doing it as well :).
lionheart822 13
@52- umm sorry to disappoint but nowhere in OP's post does it mention them holding the door for anyone else. Unless I missed something? And wow is your boyfriend "Good Guy Greg" lol jk, it's actually very kind of him. I'd on the other get impatient and frustrated after just a few people.
AKGirlinSD 20
55, thanks for pointing that out. My bad. And when I finally got used to my boyfriend opening the door for me, I was in Alaska, visiting family. I stood at the door for a good long moment, waiting for him to open the door, while he was 4,000 miles away. I felt like such a dork but I was able to laugh at myself. I still thank him every time. But when he holds the door for a while, for strangers, he starts saying, "You're welcome!" so someone takes a hint.
Wizardo 34
I guess you didn't know what hit you...
MelTheGreat 23
He said it was a door.
daniel_dd31 13
^ people and there obvious comments... Ahhhh
vadaaa 11
3 is the new iAlissa
Welshite 40
I wasn't going to say anything, but... People and their obvious spelling mistakes...ahhhh
daniel_dd31 13
oh sorry their*
Wizardo 34
True people and their bitching, are you trying to break the internet?
kinky44 28
Third times the charm
Alleged_Cranium 7
The first person was random, the second one wasn't. So, would the third be random or not? Lately, the term random has been way over-used.
HKCgrimmjow 15
Schrödinger's door, is the kid on the other side still alive? Yes? Hit him again.
perdix 31
You are an ideal candidate for home-schooling, but only if you live in a yurt or a teepee.
Catkam623 27
Sod huts too
gc327072 31
"today, I was hit in the face with a deer pelt. As I was recovering, I was hit in the face with a deer pelt again. The whole clan laughed. FMT" (**** my tribe) By- yurts hate me.
eyesmile27 7
Ouch.
Redlawnchair 9
Perhaps you should stand off to the side a little bit before approaching doors.
OuchAndGoodfight 5
Become nimble or invest in spatial intelligence--the door can only so far under normal conditions.
OuchAndGoodfight 5
only reach* so
picante72 24
OP, this isn't the matrix. The door really is there, and it isn't going to bend around you.
S182 15
Oh... Brian is on FML now.
DocBastard 40
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me because I'm a big klutz.
Welshite 40
Doc, I'm a walking disaster. Some people just pulled the short end of the stick when it comes to un-coordination and clumsiness. I stand beside the OP, my bumbling brother of gracelessness.
klutz44 28
Who you calling big?
snufflelump 12
Invest in lots of bubble wrap to avoid this in the future. You might get some funny looks, but i bet it'll be worth it!