Tyler Smith
United States
Today, my girlfriend thinks my house is filled with ghosts. She can only hear them when I fart. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
pikachu
United States
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
CHStennis_4
United States
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Gas-pingForAir
Columbia, United States
Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML
Anonymous
Newmarket, Canada
Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML
poopydaddy
Oakville, Canada
Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML
wtf??
It's a gas gas gas
Today, it took a whole year to convince my girlfriend to sleep in the same bed as me, because she was afraid she’d fart. Every time, I assured her she was just being paranoid. Turns out, she farts more than anyone I’ve ever slept with. Combined. FML
Anonymous
Berlin, Germany
Don't answer
Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML
Anonymous
Minneapolis, United States
Occam's razor
Today, my girlfriend tried explaining a duck flying into our living room and taking a shit everywhere as "paranormal activity". FML
P0wned
France
Ouch!
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
kittydead
Canada
Today, when I was at my girlfriend's house, I farted and blamed it on the cat. I forgot the cat died 2 weeks ago. FML
Top comments
Miss_Michaela 10
At least it wasn't a huge, junk-rattling fart.
icic6772 0
Ghost fart!!!
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Comments (145)
icic6772 0
Ghost fart!!!
MyEpicDemise 7
Oh so ghosts come with pungent smell? Is she trying to say that your fart smells so bad it haunts her like a ghost?
biasedshooter 24
Who you gonna call!? Ghost Busters!!!
leogirl95 12
Does she think there are ghosts in the bathroom after you shit too?
TheDeadlyTurtle 7
The ghosts are in his ass O.o "OooOoooooOoooooO" "do u smell that?"
danishbagel 3
Now for a strict diet of cheese and bratwurst.
lvlcapblue 0
Quick, somebody call T.A.P.S.!
SCREAM4meeee 0
He's possessed by the shit devil!! :O
cooldukenukem 2
Anyone else think of nick swardson's joke?
Jovecove 13
Who you gonna call? Mommyyyy!
skizzlerz 0
It is obviously not their house, but their ass that is being haunted.
evamusical 12
Paranormal fartivity :o
j_cat187 20
Ghost fart: when the camera man farts
truebrotrue 7
Op should get a fart machine and creep her the **** out all the time
fromthesuck 8
Some people call that a fear fart
Drummerboy1234 0
now silent but deadly takes on a whole new meaning for her
Llamassss 21
Boo!
markrs 0
Are you gonna exorcise your butt?
Greeneyes41 1
I see what you did there.
bhangu023 0
At least now you can blame the farts on the ghost
Scands_59 14
strange...
MagicallyFat 12
Perhaps she's a blonde?
NomOnShroomz 14
Perhaps that joke has gone old a long time ago.
TurdTickler4eva 0
Blondes aren't stupid you're stupid for thinking that
OvenproofToast 0
You forgot puncuation :P.
Miss_Michaela 10
At least it wasn't a huge, junk-rattling fart.
liquidSELECT 0
Who you gonna call!!!!
The_Troller 14
No-one said it wasn't... •_•
melikeyturtles 3
I see what you did there.
TipOfTheHat 10
Does she smell the ghosts too?
13FTW 9
Next thing OP knows he's gonna have a butt plug. Then the ghosts will be spontaneously gone.
FYLDeep 26
Better invest in some sort of safety mechanism. It's usually pretty dangerous to put a potential projectile in front of a compressed gas source.
HomeAl0ne 20
*creepy voice* I can smell dead people....
lexex1 4
Who you gonna call
amadais 1
Ghostbusters!
evilscorpi 29
FART BUSTERS!!!!!! lol
StopDropNRoll 11
My mommy!
danishbagel 3
A licensed official of the law..!
NomOnShroomz 14
Kids help phone, they're the only ones who haven't blocked me yet. *starts sobbing uncontrollably*
ashmichelle85 0
Gas-X
LaDeFreakinDa 4
An exorcist/gastrointestinal specialist? Or maybe the bean-o factory.
FMlbeast1 0
Ghost/Fart Busters
ITS_SNORLAX 4
Pikachu!!! So he can go PIKA CHU!!!!! When he farts
akallaan 7
This is just a weird FML. Op either has weird farts or his girlfriend has issues or it's just all a joke.
NomOnShroomz 14
No shit Sherlock.
loveydoodlex3 0
Lmfao
KiddNYC1O 22
Op's butthole moans lol.
ChloeMeyers_Xo 16
Idk why that comment made me laugh so hard, lmao.
Skittlepickle 13
Farts and ghosts are actually quite similar. You can hear them but cant see them, and only certain people know they're there, lingering in the air.
JEnglish89 1
And neither exist?
Skittlepickle 13
So you're saying farts don't exist? Whats been coming out of my ass all these years?
sakforduc 0
Ghosts. Lol
Badab1ng 5
Hey, you're a crazy bitch but you **** so good I'm on top of it :D
XAnNiHiLaTiOn 6
Umm, what?
ikickgingers 15
Crazy bitch by buckcherry *goes back to work*
baygirl564 9
What does that have to do with anything...
valleyshooter 8
good song!!!!
ikickgingers 15
62---I think 9 quoted the lyrics in reference to OP's girlfriend. Kind of like saying "damn my girl is psycho, but I stick around cause she can put it on me"................. That's how I took it??
The_Troller 14
68- Oh, now I get it! I thought maybe the comment gremlins had moved #9 from a different story but now it makes sense to me.
Badab1ng 5
Thank you gingers! Can't believe it was that hard to understand.
natashax21 5
The only good song they had was Sorry.
natashax21 5
The only good song they had was Sorry.
Corygerm 9
And they're always out when y'all eat burritos?