Today, my fiancée told me about her new diet. Apparently, she is only going to drink water and tan in a tanning bed so she can photosynthesise. She thinks this will help her lose weight, since she doesn't have to eat anything. I'm dating a dumbass. FML
lucas90 tells us more.
lucas90 2
Hey, I'm the OP! In all fairness, she and her friends were wasted, and I was the designated driver. She didn't remember any of this the next day, and actually found it quite funny. She's not dumb. Sorry to dissapoint you. And to the people that pointed out my typo - yes I'm MARRYING a her. English isn't my first language and I was exhausted when I wrote this. :)
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Top comments
RobinGoodfellow 47
Welp, she's gonna die. Although frankly, I have to say, you're the one who made her your fiancee. You're "dating a dumbass" and marrying one and that's your fault. Good luck.
cheeeksss 29
Diets are notorious for not working. Especially long term. If she wants to lose weight, motivate her to do outdoor activities daily. Even something as simple as walking around in a park. It helps if you two do it together. Although, the photosynthesis part made me laugh. Best of luck OP.
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Comments (138)
Kielnmsoftly 26
Hey don't knock it 'til you try it! I lost every pound I had on that diet and even got so sun bleached I got to go to a dance party on the beach.
SogekingPimpin 10
but then you overdid it and disintegrated. tan in moderation yall
vikky538 29
did you do it winter or summer ?
tantanpanda 26
under the sea.
doumtabarnack 12
You might to bail out of that engagement before it's too late.
Nexpecto 28
Explains why her hooch looks like a Venus flytrap!
okaydisarray 17
No need, she'll be dead soon anyway.
cheeeksss 29
Diets are notorious for not working. Especially long term. If she wants to lose weight, motivate her to do outdoor activities daily. Even something as simple as walking around in a park. It helps if you two do it together. Although, the photosynthesis part made me laugh. Best of luck OP.
Mightyrif 23
Outdoor activities to photosynthesis. You sly bugger.
tweetyzyaw 20
At least she's trying
skippydoda 32
To kill herself
pandalover69 26
Not eating isn't trying, it's killing yourself. If she was actually trying she'd go to the gym and follow a healthy diet.
Mirorbo 27
I predict hospitalization in a week. PLEASE talk her out of this!
xx000o 27
I predict something green growing on her in the next week.
iwanttogotoparis 26
At least you've got brains
lex1459 38
*mr Moseby voice* good luck with that.
olaf_is_bae 10
This reminds me of the episode of SpongeBob SquarePants. She only gonna have a tissue, a penny, and a chip for friends if she keeps this diet going on.
lex1459 38
This has nothing to do with that episode.
JMichael 26
She was almost spot on and then that last little sentence happened.
10splayer 5
the filter feeding is what was trying to be referenced i believe. still has nothing to do with photosynthesis, but perhaps can be her next fad diet strategy!
bearstyle22 11
I need a follow up to see how long she last
voltroz 18
In the long term; you are going to date a plant/vegetable if she fry her brains with the tanning... Then she can really photosynthesis
photographer49 22
#11 seems her brains are already fried
karma_kicks_back 16
Maybe she'll fry her insides if she drinks enough water - I mean she lives in la-la land and anything can happen there!!
gobiteme2 34
I don’t she’s going to fry her brains, maybe steam them like broccoli without the cheese sauce
LaurenRoxsU 9
@109, NOTHING IS WORTH IT WITHOUT THE CHEESE SAUCE.