Today, I had planned to do a twenty-minute colon cleanse enema for weight loss. Instead, I woke up in the middle of the night with uncontrollable diarrhea that’s still going strong. Eight hours and counting. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML
Today, I got random constipation followed by diarrhea. It's 1:30am and my sleeping medication is making me fall asleep, but every time I try to get off the toilet I get another diarrhea spasm. Either I fall asleep on the toilet or shit myself in my sleep. FML
Today, after following the directions and drinking a gallon of what can only be described as an industrial strength laxative for a scheduled colonoscopy. I shit my brains out for nearly 12 hours. The hospital then called and canceled my procedure an hour before my arrival time. FML
Today, after fasting for 24 hours and drinking 2 buckets of laxatives, my doctor's office notified me that my colonoscopy had been cancelled. I'd just finished the prep by taking the fart pills, and now have the cleanest colon ever. A lot of time spent on the toilet that I’ll never get back though. FML
Today, I was constipated and so desperate to go that I ate an entire box of laxatives. Now I'm in the hospital on a saline drip for dehydration and malnutrition, in addition to getting a massive enema and having the most agonizing shit of my life. FML
Today, after being woken up with the intense urge to go to the bathroom, and having gone to the bathroom three times in the last hour, I finally realized I took two laxatives instead of two Midol. My ass is on fire. FML
Today, I have a job interview after months of struggling to find work. I also woke up with explosive diarrhea and can’t be away from the toilet for more than 10 minutes. FML
Today, after a five day bout of severe chronic constipation, I decided to get some orange juice and increase my water intake. The good news is that I'm no longer constipated. The bad news is that I've got diarrhea now. FML
Today, I have a bad case of diarrhea. The worst part isn’t even sharting in bed while sleeping naked. It’s the severe asshole pain from having to wipe my ass twenty times in twelve hours. FML
Today I woke up to myself (24F) accidentally losing control of my bowels in bed. I’m not sick, just a food intolerance. The worst part is that my fiancé was sound asleep next to me and I had to wake him up to tell him what happened so I could wash the sheets and bed at one in the morning. He's is now sleeping on the couch. FML
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Top comments
mrsstimmer 13
Thats your body preventing you from doing something stupid and unhealthy! Good on you for trying to get to a healthy bodyweight (if that is what you are doing) but please seek help of dietary specialist instead of messing with your gut. There is no quick and dirty way to losing weight unfortunately
SquirrelRulingtheWorld 8
Yeah, there’s no such thing as a “20 minute colon cleanse” and a colon cleanse of any kind is not for weight loss. You did this to yourself.
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Comments (8)
RichardPencil 32
Hey, at least you're losing weight!
BurnInDemonFire 39
A shitload of it.
mrsstimmer 13
Thats your body preventing you from doing something stupid and unhealthy! Good on you for trying to get to a healthy bodyweight (if that is what you are doing) but please seek help of dietary specialist instead of messing with your gut. There is no quick and dirty way to losing weight unfortunately
AmbrosiaFan 19
You really should read reviews prior to taking anything. Those are known for all day toilet visitations...
Sady_Ct 38
Most reviews are doctored online crap. You see hundreds of almost verbatim amazing reviews in a product and maybe one or two bad ones. Then you buy the product and go WTAF?
Mathalamus 25
You can't lose weight by that.
SquirrelRulingtheWorld 8
Yeah, there’s no such thing as a “20 minute colon cleanse” and a colon cleanse of any kind is not for weight loss. You did this to yourself.
shannon2348 14
if you want to lose weight then don't eat so much. abusing your body isn't going to do it. ydi
julfunky 29
There’s a lot more to weight loss than just “eating less.”
Wadlaen 24
Well, at least you got that shit out of there!
randybryant799 21
I'm sorry but that's disgusting. And not a healthy way to lose weight.