Today, my fiancée told me about her new diet. Apparently, she is only going to drink water and tan in a tanning bed so she can photosynthesise. She thinks this will help her lose weight, since she doesn't have to eat anything. I'm dating a dumbass. FML
lucas90 tells us more.
lucas90 2
Hey, I'm the OP! In all fairness, she and her friends were wasted, and I was the designated driver. She didn't remember any of this the next day, and actually found it quite funny. She's not dumb. Sorry to dissapoint you. And to the people that pointed out my typo - yes I'm MARRYING a her. English isn't my first language and I was exhausted when I wrote this. :)
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Top comments
RobinGoodfellow 47
Welp, she's gonna die. Although frankly, I have to say, you're the one who made her your fiancee. You're "dating a dumbass" and marrying one and that's your fault. Good luck.
cheeeksss 29
Diets are notorious for not working. Especially long term. If she wants to lose weight, motivate her to do outdoor activities daily. Even something as simple as walking around in a park. It helps if you two do it together. Although, the photosynthesis part made me laugh. Best of luck OP.
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Comments (138)
cheyy_xox 10
No you are about to MARRY a dumbass
MrConcise 35
Not if she dies first.
Jasim 17
So, you didn't find out she's a bit not smart before you got engaged?
Mightyrif 23
Once the ring goes on the brains go out.
LaurenRoxsU 9
@19, C'mon guys. You can't hide that kind of stupid. It's as glaring as the tanning bed lights. That's just an unfathomable level of idiocy right there. I can't even...
RobinGoodfellow 47
Welp, she's gonna die. Although frankly, I have to say, you're the one who made her your fiancee. You're "dating a dumbass" and marrying one and that's your fault. Good luck.
lucas90 2
Hey, I'm the OP! In all fairness, she and her friends were wasted, and I was the designated driver. She didn't remember any of this the next day, and actually found it quite funny. She's not dumb. Sorry to dissapoint you. And to the people that pointed out my typo - yes I'm MARRYING a her. English isn't my first language and I was exhausted when I wrote this. :)
lexiieeex3 32
I think it's time for a biology lesson...
Mightyrif 23
Please, sexual reproduction/intercourse would only make photosynthesis harder!
Mauskau 36
Not only is this a seriously dangerous thing to do, please don't let her go near a tanning bed.
mmazzaa 16
And you're the biggest dumbass for marrying a dumbass. Good job
bloosummers 6
at least you know life with her won't be boring :)
AnOriginalName 19
You say that as if it's a bad thing. I'd marry a cheez-it if it were legal.
walktowardslight 33
That's only going to stunt her metabolism and send her weight fluctuating. It's very unhealthy, both physically and mentally. Please try to help her see reason
iRambo 12
Well this reminded me this "tanning mom" - Patricia Krentcial from New Jersey. Not only she's dark but she a dumb blonde.