Today, my fiancée told me about her new diet. Apparently, she is only going to drink water and tan in a tanning bed so she can photosynthesise. She thinks this will help her lose weight, since she doesn't have to eat anything. I'm dating a dumbass. FML
lucas90
Stockholm, Sweden
lucas90 tells us more.
lucas90 2
Hey, I'm the OP! In all fairness, she and her friends were wasted, and I was the designated driver. She didn't remember any of this the next day, and actually found it quite funny. She's not dumb. Sorry to dissapoint you. And to the people that pointed out my typo - yes I'm MARRYING a her. English isn't my first language and I was exhausted when I wrote this. :)
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Top comments
RobinGoodfellow 47
Welp, she's gonna die. Although frankly, I have to say, you're the one who made her your fiancee. You're "dating a dumbass" and marrying one and that's your fault. Good luck.
cheeeksss 29
Diets are notorious for not working. Especially long term. If she wants to lose weight, motivate her to do outdoor activities daily. Even something as simple as walking around in a park. It helps if you two do it together. Although, the photosynthesis part made me laugh. Best of luck OP.
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Comments (138)
Witchylady 18
Don't let her breed because her stupidity will push humanity back into the dark ages with her offspring
Tarlachia 33
You sure it's not the "Light Ages"? ;)
laden_swallow09 35
Hence the joke, 47.
tbro47 23
Well technically she will lose weight. . . Right up until the time of death
vikky538 29
what is she...? a plant..tell her not to forget about nutritious soil that plants use...
raytheop1020 10
more like a lovely flower lol jk she's some kind of special
Urpoppy 21
Run as fast as you can Seymour!
knoelani 13
"Dating a dumbass"...what's that say about you...surely it isn't the first time she's done something so mindless...
youdontcontrolme 17
The name "yes she is blonde"
southerngalslove 15
Get out while you can!
apk892 7
Theres no way shes this stupid and you only just now noticed, so YDI.
Masift 21
Well if she was a plant then that wouldn't be so bad XD