Today, my fiancée told me about her new diet. Apparently, she is only going to drink water and tan in a tanning bed so she can photosynthesise. She thinks this will help her lose weight, since she doesn't have to eat anything. I'm dating a dumbass. FML
lucas90 tells us more.
lucas90 2
Hey, I'm the OP! In all fairness, she and her friends were wasted, and I was the designated driver. She didn't remember any of this the next day, and actually found it quite funny. She's not dumb. Sorry to dissapoint you. And to the people that pointed out my typo - yes I'm MARRYING a her. English isn't my first language and I was exhausted when I wrote this. :)
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RobinGoodfellow 47
Welp, she's gonna die. Although frankly, I have to say, you're the one who made her your fiancee. You're "dating a dumbass" and marrying one and that's your fault. Good luck.
cheeeksss 29
Diets are notorious for not working. Especially long term. If she wants to lose weight, motivate her to do outdoor activities daily. Even something as simple as walking around in a park. It helps if you two do it together. Although, the photosynthesis part made me laugh. Best of luck OP.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (138)
suznmar 16
Well yes she's as dumb as mud. But the good news is she'll definitely lose weight since she's not eating so at least she'll be hot!
limabeans101029 21
I know this was meant to be a joke, but it is possible to be skinny and unattractive at the same time
junkusernamexyz 17
The stupid is strong with this one.
ihearthouse928 8
Correction: you're MARRYING a dumbass. Get out now, dude.
Khaleesi_D 9
I know a girl who cut out all white foods and mowed her yard everyday, she lost so much weight. She cut bread, mayo, eggs, pasta, the works.
domolovesyoshi 33
Pretty sure the exercise of mowing her yard everyday helped
Khaleesi_D 9
Late reply, sorry, yeah it did, but cutting out some of the unnecessary carbs (mayo, white bread, etc.) helped.
Saraishi 25
Dumbass is beyoooooond an understatement. Wrap your tool, OP, don't reproduce with her.
Eloxia 7
Everyone knows tanning beds won't work, you need direct sunlight. Or maybe a spray tan if they figure out how to infuse them with vitamin D. Seriously, though, maybe she needs to talk with a real dietitian to learn healthy ways to lose weight.
LaurenRoxsU 9
@76, It seems that you're implying that photosynthesis will work on humans with "real" sunlight? But obviously you're not. Because that would be stupid. Since we AREN'T PLANTS.
kathrinex 26
Well, she is Swedish..
sahmnc420 13
Please do not reproduce!
why57why 21
Yes you are
IceWrath 22
Hey, not many 'dumb blondes' know what Photosynthesis is. Maybe she's actually smart... for a blonde.