Today, my ex shot me. Actually shot me. After I woke up from surgery, I told my manager I would obviously need sick leave. She told me she was shot in the army, and got over it because she’s "not a pussy", so she expects me back at work, recovering from a gunshot to the chest, by Tuesday. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm in hospital after having surgery for a broken leg. I’m maxed out on Endone and still in pain. Work have said that I’m on the roster next week and I’ll be fired if I’m not there. My wife said that she is going to have some "me time" for a few days when I get home from my "holiday". FML
Today, I got back to work from a 4 month hospital stay and I joked with my boss that after so long away, I’m not planning on being sick again for years. Two hours later, a coworker knocked me down the stairs. A dislocated hip and a broken femur requiring 4-6 weeks of recovery. FML
Today, it was my first day being a full-time paramedic. I was shot in the arm. FML
Today, I was feeling down about being stuck in bed after ankle surgery. I thought I would go ahead and call my boss and let him know everything went well. He said the obligatory nice things, then told me that if I'm not at work on Monday, I'll be fired. I can't even get out of bed. FML
Today, I found out that my boss was actually legally obligated to send me to the hospital after I was hit on the head while working. I had to finish the entire work day while heavily concussed, and by the time I got to the ER I had lost complete feeling in my right side. They asked me to come in the day after. FML
Today, during my second shift back at work after missing four weeks for knee surgery, I stabbed myself in the hand and now need three weeks off for that surgery. Just as I'm up for a promotion. FML
Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of two years over the phone, I got a knock on my door. It was my now ex-girlfriend who came to seek revenge by shooting me in the balls with a paintball gun at about a three-foot range. FML
Today, my boss put me on suspension, a week after granting a subordinate time off to recover from surgery. When I signed the paperwork, I was too embarrassed to admit I didn't understand her writing, which apparently said she was getting treated for "dangerously low levels of dick". FML
Today, the day before I was supposed to go back to work after I got sick, ended up in the hospital, and primary doctor put me on medical leave, I got fired. FML
Today, my psycho ex showed up at my doorstep to beg me to take her back, so I pulled my gun on her. I just found out she's pressing charges. FML
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Top comments
AzraelAngelus 15
Yeah your manager can’t enforce that at least in the USA
Marcella1016 32
Holy **** I’m so sorry you went through that. Ignoring your crazy **** of a boss, I’m really glad you’re ok. I hope your ex gets put away for a long time. And honestly get that boss bullshit in writing. That’s exceptionally ****** up, and you could actually sue for emotional distress. I’m already ****** up from getting shot by someone I used to love, and my boss adds some sideways shit like that on top of that, I’d probably go off the deep end. Just, what the ****. Some people are so ******* callous. Again, glad you’re ok physically, OP. Stay strong, you can get through all this. ❤️💪💪
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Comments (8)
AzraelAngelus 15
Yeah your manager can’t enforce that at least in the USA
Marcella1016 32
Holy **** I’m so sorry you went through that. Ignoring your crazy **** of a boss, I’m really glad you’re ok. I hope your ex gets put away for a long time. And honestly get that boss bullshit in writing. That’s exceptionally ****** up, and you could actually sue for emotional distress. I’m already ****** up from getting shot by someone I used to love, and my boss adds some sideways shit like that on top of that, I’d probably go off the deep end. Just, what the ****. Some people are so ******* callous. Again, glad you’re ok physically, OP. Stay strong, you can get through all this. ❤️💪💪
RichardPencil 32
Well, you do have the strength to write an FML, and you have a three-day weekend to cry in your beer and have a pity party. Put on your big-boy pants and get your ass into work on Tuesday! Sounds like your ex "gives love a bad name?"
phile 15
Mother of Christ, I hope you make a full recovery and feel better physically and emotionally. Your ex and boss are bitches and shouldn't be part of your life, but don't cut ties entirely. Ofc sue your ex but also try finding a better work environment if possible financially. Most importantly take care yourself, you're the best part of your life. ❤ (please follow up on your fml when good things happen eventually)
Chazzster 32
That’s terrible! Am I the only one wondering just why the ex shot OP?
JackWood 21
You ask the dr when it's appropriate to be back at work. Then follow the dr's orders.
D J's MOM 17
ur boss was probably only shot in the arm, still she's an asshole.
lexxiasaurus 31
talk to your HR and get her fired