Today, my family is on the third day of driving cross country. My husband is still pretending he is driving on a NASCAR track, sound effects and all. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm driving cross-country with my parents. As if the stifling heat isn't bad enough, they keep stopping to admire, comment on, and practically do a photoshoot in every corn field we pass. FML
Today, I'm going on an 8-hour drive with my insane family. This usually means screaming arguments, graphic conversations about my dad's pubes, some karaoke, plenty of farting, some stale Pringles, and an obese golden retriever on my lap the entire time. Arizona, here we come. FML
Today, during a never-ending dinner with really boring friends, I faked being tired and told my husband, "Let’s go honey, we have a long way to drive home." He looks at me and says, "Well… we are at home." FML
Today, my husband put myself and our 3 year-old on a plane back to the other side of the US, because he “just can’t” with us anymore. FML
Today, we were going to Disney World all the way from North Carolina. After 12 hours of driving, my kids started fighting and complaining. My husband finally said, "If I hear you guys one more time we're turning around and going back home." They annoyed him once again, and we actually went home. FML
Today, my family and I were on a road trip. Everything was fine until we discovered that my dad, the driver, was not only fast asleep, he was also snoring. We were in the middle of the highway. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I are on our way back from vacation. It will be an eight hour drive. It just so happens I got food poisoning the night before we left, and there's roadwork everywhere. We're at a dead halt with no signs of moving. FML
Today, I'm 11 weeks pregnant and my husband has taken great glee in the fact that his horrible gas is enough to trigger my morning sickness. We're about to go on a long, 12-hour drive. FML
Today, at the crack of dawn, I started a 700-mile road trip with my three children. So far, I've stopped four times, settled several arguments, cleaned up spilled yogurt and melted silly putty. 130 miles down, 570 to go. FML
Today, I drove three and a half hours to surprise my long distance boyfriend for our anniversary. He was out of town. Where was he? Three and a half hours away trying to surprise me. FML
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Top comments
chronicstds 3
you must be a redneck
Iamnotmyself 17
Vrmmmmm, Zzzoooooom, Beeeeeeep
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Comments (154)
Stevefett 0
Pretend he's an idiot and tell him to cool it.
PDeffinP 0
pretend? ha
sickandsexified 7
hey, he's just trying to entertain himself. relax.
manbearpig7173 0
Time for new role models
cargod05 0
and I beat he bought one of those limited edition chevy monte carlos nascar edition, right?
iLoveBoobies21 0
bet*.
cargod05 0
^ u got there
TheMasticater 9
Pretend to be his announcer
SilentTreatment 7
Too much Ricky Bobby for him. "If you don't chew Big Red, then F*ck You!".
KLuff 0
Next "pit stop": Drive off as he's returning to the car. Yell that you're just taking a victory lap...and just don't come back. xD
gracygirl1 0
ha.ha.ha^ :/
koe4 0
i pity his vocal cords
TheLoneTurnip 0
start yelling at him every time he turns right ;)