Today, at the crack of dawn, I started a 700-mile road trip with my three children. So far, I've stopped four times, settled several arguments, cleaned up spilled yogurt and melted silly putty. 130 miles down, 570 to go. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm on a road trip with my wife and in-laws. After 8 hours of driving we stopped at a hotel to rest overnight. I was elected to go to the grocery store to get dinner. While I was gone, they ate at a restaurant without me. I spent $80 on groceries for the trash can. FML
Today, I'm travelling across the country with my family. My grandma thought it would be a good idea to take her shoes off. It's been 5 minutes and my eyes are watering from the stench. We still have over 200 miles left until we get home. FML
Today, I'm going on an 8-hour drive with my insane family. This usually means screaming arguments, graphic conversations about my dad's pubes, some karaoke, plenty of farting, some stale Pringles, and an obese golden retriever on my lap the entire time. Arizona, here we come. FML
Today, my family is on the third day of driving cross country. My husband is still pretending he is driving on a NASCAR track, sound effects and all. FML
Today, my sister and I drove 800 miles with her five-year-old, her two-year-old, and her two dogs. The two-year-old got carsick five times, adding an extra three hours to the trip. The kicker? My sister is sympathy spewer and neither of them chews food very well. FML
Today, I flew 1800 km with my two small children to a remote northern village for work. Our bags were lost, leaving us without winter gear and only one change of clothes. Just to make things extra fun, we now all have uncontrollable vomiting and diarrhea. FML
Today, we were going to Disney World all the way from North Carolina. After 12 hours of driving, my kids started fighting and complaining. My husband finally said, "If I hear you guys one more time we're turning around and going back home." They annoyed him once again, and we actually went home. FML
Today, after driving 900 miles, the tongue on my trailer broke ten miles away from home. I was stuck on the side of the road for 3 hours. FML
Today, I was on a long road trip with my son. He had to pee, and told him he had to wait till I could stop the car. He started counting backwards from 10. I couldn't stop in time. FML
Today, while on a road trip, I stopped at a gas station and told my kids to go to the restroom. My youngest daughter said, "I had to go earlier, but not anymore." FML
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Top comments
worly 1
Are we there yet?!
Mumbellosity711 0
ydi for going on a SEVEN HUNDRED MILE ROAD TRIP.
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Comments (165)
worly 1
Are we there yet?!
Astroman129 7
Not quite. A few hundred miles. =O
Rwstudent1 0
ALL TOGETHER NOW!! 570 bottles of beer on the wall!! 570 bottles of beeerrrr...
super3286 14
wouldn't that take to long ^^
cookiemobzta 0
ydi for having kids
ATL_chris 6
haha good luck
smokergirl420 0
aren't kids just adorable? haha, look at the bright side, you could have more kids like that 19 kids & counting show.
nikki908 3
That...sucks. Are you at a rest stop? Hopefully you are... I don't want another accident due to someone on their phone driving. 569 bottle of beer on the wall! 569 bottles of beer!!!
CrazyCatCookin 0
Wait I don't get it is this supposed to be abnormal. This is normal for parents I'm sure and you decided to have a kid three times so get over it!
That_Guy_Jake_JR 0
How can you not know this was going to happen. Every parent knows road trips suck with kids, it's just built into your brain
ellielovesyuh 0
get ear plugs :D
Averizzle 0
Tell the kids to shit the **** up and go to sleep or you will drop em off at the side of the road.
schnitzel5 0
go back
pleasenopuffin 0
That's what children's Benedryll is for.
mfmylifesrsly 30
YDI for reproducing.
mfmylifesrsly 30
lol 20 that show makes me laugh..at them :) also I love how guys take pictures of just their abs and pecks but not their face. can you say butterface?
Raleigh_bruh 7
Haley. :] Don't be mean.
vballerlover07 0
Learn to control your children.
deafeningsilence 8
26 is win.
SqueakyBootz 0
butterface
CrazyCatCookin 0
Whatdaya call someone ugly all over? just butter? Erryones good butter. Butterbody be fatty with good BJs?
codycook1 0
your stupid
crazytay 0
hahaha! number one that what i thought
CrazyCatCookin 0
You know what I don't get. Everyone always gets mad at people for using the wrong "your" and sometimes gets on about "should of" but no one ever says anything about using the wrong "to" and stuff. if your gonna be a grammer Nazi, go all out and get errything.
mfmylifesrsly 30
Raleigh!!!!
Raleigh_bruh 7
Haley. :P
StoryOfTheYear 15
How did they melt silly putty in a car without you noticing?
bwhahaha_fml 10
62 that is because most people don't know the difference
shhhitsasecret 0
58 what's your shirt say?
ATLBOI770 0
u should if use a condom if ur gonna bitch about kids n their mess
CrazyCatCookin 0
74 it says "I only date boys who-----" I have no idea
DJSecret 0
How is this an FML? You agreed to this when you stuck it in her. Stop bitching.
shadowPlayer 6
shouldve brought a mini DVD player and used that to keep them busy. my brother brings a converter and uses the lighter tonpower a TV and his PS3
CrazyCatCookin 0
Why do people say at the crack of dawn? I knew someone named dawn and trust me you'd be jolted awake if you saw her crack... not in a good way.
BoyFromTheFuture 0
no one thinks about children and silly putty and road trips when they are getting a woman pregnant. Well at least I hope not.
BoyFromTheFuture 0
on the way back, you could drive 570 miles in a night and if your kids are young enough they will sleep right through it. Load up on red bull or Chernobyl (imported illegally)
CrazyCatCookin 0
Ydi for being an assumedly single parent who doesn't like things normal kids do and for panning a trip with them when you couldn't handle taking care of them.
epiccarrot 0
well just look forward to the drive back :D
cyberpimp 4
Why did you give them silly putty and yougurt in the car? Not exactly travel items
DamnDatFML 0
You take one down, you pass it around, 575 bottles on the wall
CrazyCatCookin 0
Is it illegal to give them sleeping pills?...
itsxashhhxo 0
just buy plane tickets. I'm sure it's well worth the convenience, no? YDI not only for driving 700 miles with kids but if you don't want to deal with that sort of thing, then don't have kids. it's a part of parenthood.
Disco_fml 0
It says "I only date boys who recycle." Obviously another greenfreak.
CrazyCatCookin 0
Well I don't recycle but it doesn't look like I'd be missing out...
TheEricCartman 0
I once went on a long trip to Nebraska to meet my grandma, I got a stupid shirt.
fri6520 0
sucks...
thatonek1d 0
lol 26: shit the **** up. a new take on an old classic
nahunahi 0
cute hairr..:)
omgudeserve 0
700 mi road trip with 3 kids? Er, not only do you deserve it, you basically asked for it.
redheadregect 0
y is op writing this instead of driving? ydi
cloud_strife_ 0
Have fun with that!
vball_luvah 2
but what sucks is that the OP has to drive back and go through hell all over again. unless they take a plane. but kids on a plane is hell too. so that whole situation sucks.
Rawr_Doodle 0
Sean?
whoisthisgirl 4
lol that's my area code..
sublimefan 0
oh so you also stopped to post a fmylife?
Astroman129 7
You'll make it there eventually. =] FYL
jordan75_fml 0
having fun yet?
iloveyuhhx33 0
awee, i hope you make it through without killing yourself
Richisme 0
In car tv. Finding Nemo. come on mom!
pzuggler 0
Not too late to turn around, or raise your kids so they don't annoy you.
sexybitch92 0
fyl Op, I hate it when that happens, I have a lil sister I feel your pain
Raleigh_bruh 7
Ok..? That's to be expected. You're going on a long road trip with your three (I'm assuming young) children, accidents are bound to happen. Not a Fml moment though.
Primus_fml 0
^ Exactly what I was thinking. If you're gonna have kids, prepare for consequences.
incoming_pudding 9
Or just not go on a 700 mile road trip with young children... I went on a 120 mile trip with two kids under 5 and that was exactly what I imagine hell to be like I don't honestly think I'd survive 700 miles... I'm not someone who is easily annoyed but I'm not entirely convinced those kids weren't just tiny demons...
JokeMeister 0
YOU wanted them, now you got 'em! Stop whining, that's what KIDS do!!