Today, I'm 11 weeks pregnant and my husband has taken great glee in the fact that his horrible gas is enough to trigger my morning sickness. We're about to go on a long, 12-hour drive. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML
Today, I'm pregnant and feeling awful due to all-day-long morning sickness. My doctor suggested that I cancel all my social plans to be able to keep working. My doctor is also my husband, and the father of this child. FML
Today, my husband and I are sick. He keeps whining about how bad he feels. I'm just as sick, as well as 7 months pregnant. I've not only been taking care of his whiny ass: I've cooked, cleaned, and gone to the store several times because the tissues we had were too rough on his nose. FML
Today, I am 3 months pregnant. While lying on the couch with morning sickness, my boyfriend farted loudly and filled the room with a smell so horrifying that I immediately threw up all over my coffee table. He spent the next 20 minutes texting his friends about this "epic" moment. FML
Today, I am 7 weeks pregnant and dealing with severe morning sickness. Not to worry though, it should get better at 14 weeks, right after I get back from my honeymoon. FML
Today, I am 8 weeks pregnant. I have debilitating 'morning sickness' all day. And now I get to add peeing my pants every time I throw up. FML
Today, they're pumping out the septic system in the building next door. I'm three months pregnant, suffering from morning sickness, and can smell everything within a three-mile radius. FML
Today, my wife is 20 weeks pregnant and today is the first day that my natural, clean scent makes her nauseous. We don’t have somewhere else I can sleep and we both work from home. Twenty more weeks to go. FML
Today, I'm seven weeks pregnant. For the first time in a week, I feel well enough to eat something that isn't Cheerios, a bagel, or crackers. I woke up two hours after going to bed with the shits. I'm almost convinced this kid hates me already. FML
Today, my husband and I were looking for a new house. The open house we were in had a strange floral scent to entice the buyers. I am three months pregnant and have horrible morning sickness. I threw up all over the living room. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DontClickOnMe 28
Well if he triggers it, make sure you throw up on him. It may be the only way to get him to stop.
sunnyray812 42
Puke on him. I'm very sure he won't take great glee in that.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (68)
jane35 13
Crack those window open!!
cre8tvlylicnsd 14
Throw up on him.
cre8tvlylicnsd 14
I just noticed the #2 comment.... Let the Hunger Games Down Voting edition commence!
quickit 24
I don't understand how the husband would enjoy it if they're going to be stuck in a car that smells like puke. He should have the decency not to do that then. If he's going to be a dick, at least be one at an appropriate time.
gatorclay97 28
Good god, that is the best grammar I've ever seen.
incoherentrmblr 22
12hr drive to where?...
Diarrhea_Volcano 29
To the Illuminati HQ
DontClickOnMe 28
Well if he triggers it, make sure you throw up on him. It may be the only way to get him to stop.
sunnyray812 42
Puke on him. I'm very sure he won't take great glee in that.
201chasew 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Yes, because the smell of vomit permeated onto his clothes will do wonders and make the situation 100x better.
skittyskatbrat 19
201, if he has to pull over to a gas station and go clean up in the bathroom with paper towels and soap and then dig a clean set of clothes out of the back... GOOD. It might be nearly as uncomfortable as having a sore stomach and throat from puking.
sunnyray812 42
#18 Easy there. I was half joking.
201chasew 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'm just saying that in my personal experience, the smell of vomit is worse than a fart, so vomiting on him, assuming he doesn't have extra clothes, would just make the situation worse. Unless I am wrong and vomit smell is the new lavender?
sunnyray812 42
No, vomit is definitely worse. I just pictured the situation happening and thought it was funny.
llalala_fml 19
#30 if they are driving 12 hours they better have brought extra clothes
RamboFB 10
Yes but the husband is doing it on PURPOSE... She would be doing it so that he thinks twice about letting one rip. If every time he farts she throws up on him, he might be inclined the stop. Your logic is borderline non existent!
alex_622 22
Sorry OP. Better bring some noseplugs
devildog562 33
Hopefully beans wasn't part of dinner last night.
Dlzq 22
Window down, face out, have a nice trip.
caitlin547 13
Just like a dog, dogs know what's up.
MrConcise 35
What an asshole. Wait, that's the problem...
isabellasimone 18
Open the windows, take a few Advil PM and go to sleep!
MrSassypants 34
That might not be the best idea while pregnant.
devildog562 33
Advil should be fine ... Although Benadryl and zofran maybe a better alternative. Consult your physician, not all agree but they should.
angelofsaturn 23
Advil is a nope during pregnancy. Benadryl should be fine tho according to my sheet and zofran may cause drowsiness so no guarantee there.
pinkster2014 25
.... Good luck with that.
julianbozikovic 20
Stick incenses in your nose haha! Wait, that'll probably make you nauseous too.