Today, my family is on the third day of driving cross country. My husband is still pretending he is driving on a NASCAR track, sound effects and all. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm driving cross-country with my parents. As if the stifling heat isn't bad enough, they keep stopping to admire, comment on, and practically do a photoshoot in every corn field we pass. FML
Today, I'm going on an 8-hour drive with my insane family. This usually means screaming arguments, graphic conversations about my dad's pubes, some karaoke, plenty of farting, some stale Pringles, and an obese golden retriever on my lap the entire time. Arizona, here we come. FML
Today, during a never-ending dinner with really boring friends, I faked being tired and told my husband, "Let’s go honey, we have a long way to drive home." He looks at me and says, "Well… we are at home." FML
Today, my husband put myself and our 3 year-old on a plane back to the other side of the US, because he “just can’t” with us anymore. FML
Today, we were going to Disney World all the way from North Carolina. After 12 hours of driving, my kids started fighting and complaining. My husband finally said, "If I hear you guys one more time we're turning around and going back home." They annoyed him once again, and we actually went home. FML
Today, my family and I were on a road trip. Everything was fine until we discovered that my dad, the driver, was not only fast asleep, he was also snoring. We were in the middle of the highway. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I are on our way back from vacation. It will be an eight hour drive. It just so happens I got food poisoning the night before we left, and there's roadwork everywhere. We're at a dead halt with no signs of moving. FML
Today, I'm 11 weeks pregnant and my husband has taken great glee in the fact that his horrible gas is enough to trigger my morning sickness. We're about to go on a long, 12-hour drive. FML
Today, at the crack of dawn, I started a 700-mile road trip with my three children. So far, I've stopped four times, settled several arguments, cleaned up spilled yogurt and melted silly putty. 130 miles down, 570 to go. FML
Today, I drove three and a half hours to surprise my long distance boyfriend for our anniversary. He was out of town. Where was he? Three and a half hours away trying to surprise me. FML
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Top comments
chronicstds 3
you must be a redneck
Iamnotmyself 17
Vrmmmmm, Zzzoooooom, Beeeeeeep
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Comments (154)
lol0wnee 5
sell him
Iamnotmyself 17
I again bid $20
enonymous 9
I bid my autographed Jesus on a raptor painting.
Iamnotmyself 17
-18 Hitlers mustache eating Stalin painting, Zeus' camel, and a box of *unopened* paperclips.
enonymous 9
Bear Cavalry.... yeah you're pretty much ****** now
Iamnotmyself 17
-34 NOOOOOOO! I only have dolphincheddar's soul now!
instnt1nfction 17
I bid cheese..... did i win
EvilCupcake8361 9
I got a velvet painting of a whale & a dolphin getting it on, the holy grail, slash's underwear, & a pudding cup
JenDanielle917 13
Did you join in?
PeachyJinx 7
Yay for onomatopoeia!
iLoveBoobies21 0
if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
ifailplzinsultme 0
Okay LeBron
ComTlancy 12
Maybe the husband is driving her mad?
Dolly_109 0
It's okay. I tend to do that a lot as well. It's really fun.
Yodaevil 4
in the car? or just randomly? like walking from the kitchen? or getting the mail?
Dolly_109 0
Both. It helps get rid of awkward silences too
knocking 0
Is he just going around in a circle, over and over again too?
ComTlancy 12
Don't worry, I'll steer the topic on the right direction. Not right now though, I'm a bit 'tyre-d'
gene818 13
I don't see the thrill of watching people drive around in circles. Oh, and check that you're not going in a circle too, because your husband could be holucinating and dreaming that he's in a NASCAR race thinking it's real. Snap him out of it!
A7X_LoVeee 10
Being at the actual track is much different than watching it on TV.
pink_raindrops 26
I completely agree, all sports are so much different on tv than if you were there watching in person, or playing the sport yourself. I've never been able to stand watching any of it on tv, especially the olympics, it bores the hell out of me.
quadder 0
it was still boring live, the only way to enjoy NASCAR is either be real drunk or really stupid
thatnucca 36
At least you guys aren't cousins and the country isn't wallmart... Enjoy!