Today, I'm going on an 8-hour drive with my insane family. This usually means screaming arguments, graphic conversations about my dad's pubes, some karaoke, plenty of farting, some stale Pringles, and an obese golden retriever on my lap the entire time. Arizona, here we come. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm driving cross-country with my parents. As if the stifling heat isn't bad enough, they keep stopping to admire, comment on, and practically do a photoshoot in every corn field we pass. FML
Today, I have to pack for tomorrow's family vacation. For one week I get to be stuck in a one bedroom cabin with my alcoholic father, bipolar mother, and two much younger siblings who have a passion for screaming. FML
Today, I went on a roadtrip with my boyfriend and his best friend. What I thought was going to be a great, fun time ended up with me alone in a car with two large men who wouldn't stop farting for 14 hours. FML
Today, my family is on the third day of driving cross country. My husband is still pretending he is driving on a NASCAR track, sound effects and all. FML
Today, I left for a fifteen-hour drive with two guys who won't stop talking in a Yoda voice. Sick of this nonsense, I am. FML
Today, at the crack of dawn, I started a 700-mile road trip with my three children. So far, I've stopped four times, settled several arguments, cleaned up spilled yogurt and melted silly putty. 130 miles down, 570 to go. FML
Today, I'm travelling across the country with my family. My grandma thought it would be a good idea to take her shoes off. It's been 5 minutes and my eyes are watering from the stench. We still have over 200 miles left until we get home. FML
Today, I had to sit in a three-seat truck between my dad and his best friend on a 4-hour trip to Detroit. It was great, besides their incessant crude jokes and stories, including chafing ball sacks, and naming their new radio station, "Chicks With Dicks Radio." FML
Today, my sister and I drove 800 miles with her five-year-old, her two-year-old, and her two dogs. The two-year-old got carsick five times, adding an extra three hours to the trip. The kicker? My sister is sympathy spewer and neither of them chews food very well. FML
Today, it's my 6-year anniversary with my fiance, but due to a lot of different family issues, I had to drive 9 hours with my dad to go visit them. Long story short, there was a giant argument about bread, my dad stormed out and I'm left to deal with this shit storm. FML
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Top comments
BassGirl 5
Fat ass dog ftw!
needleinmypants_fml 3
well you can't bond more than discussing old pubes!
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Comments (129)
BassGirl 5
Fat ass dog ftw!
caelrion 1
Yeah!
natvv 0
Sounds fun !!
MissErikaHart 0
maybe u will hear the story about ur dad trimming his pubes and talking to the electric razor
Thawn 0
iPod?
Xrandomkrisx 7
Ill see you in arizona?? :D
zakkyzebra 11
drive naked. people usually stop everything they are doing. how do I know? I'm level 99 in awkwardness
MagicGiraffe 12
you must live in the north part of California...
colts609380 7
haha
Eorlas 31
There is nothing "win" about obesity, especially in animals. It leads to extremely serious health issues just like in humans. Tbh I say f the dog's life on this one for irresponsible pet owners.
needleinmypants_fml 3
well you can't bond more than discussing old pubes!
erika622 0
haha I feel ur pain this sounds like my family
xMegan 0
Mine too, number 3.
bbodin33 7
same here
lilmisslovely13 15
Those are my family's dinner conversations
Ticklingthepickl 0
Sounds like my trips, just your mom doesn't play air guitar while driving 90 mph..... have fun ;)
catatonicsleep 17
my dad plays air drums, often using the break pedal as the bass drum in traffic queues... I get car sick
trueblue42 4
your family sounds awful..... fyl
kayiscoolllll 6
her family sounds wonderful! at least they want to spend time as a family!
ljesm14 1
exactly. roadtrips with my family consist of awkward silences and crying over bathroom breaks my dad wouldn't pull over for.
Kimitte 1
110 - Exactly..how I wish my family would actually bond with me..
finallyfreemaria 0
lol FML? not really? at least you have a family.
iampunk 0
Maria knows what's up.
franswa22 0
there is no way you are only 20
_Vamp_ 9
I laughed so hard at this. This reminds me of my family trips minus the obese dog and daddy pube convo.
ERICA833 0
same here!! instead it's 3 cats!!!
perdix 31
Buy some fresh Pringles, you cheapskate! The rest of it sounds awesome!
SinaStar 0
Ahahaha you made me laugh :)
jonjf 0
be glad that you have a family and they take you on trips
Thinmint23 0
HAHAHA. WTF is up with the pubes?!