Today, my family is on the third day of driving cross country. My husband is still pretending he is driving on a NASCAR track, sound effects and all. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm driving cross-country with my parents. As if the stifling heat isn't bad enough, they keep stopping to admire, comment on, and practically do a photoshoot in every corn field we pass. FML
Today, I'm going on an 8-hour drive with my insane family. This usually means screaming arguments, graphic conversations about my dad's pubes, some karaoke, plenty of farting, some stale Pringles, and an obese golden retriever on my lap the entire time. Arizona, here we come. FML
Today, during a never-ending dinner with really boring friends, I faked being tired and told my husband, "Let’s go honey, we have a long way to drive home." He looks at me and says, "Well… we are at home." FML
Today, my husband put myself and our 3 year-old on a plane back to the other side of the US, because he “just can’t” with us anymore. FML
Today, we were going to Disney World all the way from North Carolina. After 12 hours of driving, my kids started fighting and complaining. My husband finally said, "If I hear you guys one more time we're turning around and going back home." They annoyed him once again, and we actually went home. FML
Today, my family and I were on a road trip. Everything was fine until we discovered that my dad, the driver, was not only fast asleep, he was also snoring. We were in the middle of the highway. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I are on our way back from vacation. It will be an eight hour drive. It just so happens I got food poisoning the night before we left, and there's roadwork everywhere. We're at a dead halt with no signs of moving. FML
Today, I'm 11 weeks pregnant and my husband has taken great glee in the fact that his horrible gas is enough to trigger my morning sickness. We're about to go on a long, 12-hour drive. FML
Today, at the crack of dawn, I started a 700-mile road trip with my three children. So far, I've stopped four times, settled several arguments, cleaned up spilled yogurt and melted silly putty. 130 miles down, 570 to go. FML
Today, I drove three and a half hours to surprise my long distance boyfriend for our anniversary. He was out of town. Where was he? Three and a half hours away trying to surprise me. FML
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Top comments
chronicstds 3
you must be a redneck
Iamnotmyself 17
Vrmmmmm, Zzzoooooom, Beeeeeeep
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Comments (154)
Iamnotmyself 17
Vrmmmmm, Zzzoooooom, Beeeeeeep
azpallen 0
lamnotmyself
Iamnotmyself 17
-15 message me if you want to talk. otherwise shut up.
cheezbrgrsrcool 1
lol
imustbeinsane 2
* tick tick tick tick tick left blinker on the whole trip
DKjazz 20
And slowly, highway madness sets in.
IWarnedYou 0
?
purplecowchik 5
I'm surprised he hasn't gotten a speeding ticket yet.
goaliemkl123 8
do racecars have horns?
R34luver 5
hahah nope! nor head lights/ taillights, nor turnsignals, nor street legal tires, nor passenger seats, nor....ect ect ect..
R34luver 5
well NASCAR Stock Cars anyway...
bluevayero 42
VMMMMmmmmmm, VMMMMmmmmmm, VMMMMmmmmmm, VMMMMmmmmmm, VMMMMmmmmmm, VMMMMmmmmmm, VMMMMmmmmmm...(overtaken by everyone)
Maccaroney 11
They will next year!
chronicstds 3
you must be a redneck
fyriwolf666 8
Not every NASCAR fan is a redneck. What an annoying stereotype.
fat1239 4
ehhh its mostly true myself bein one
captainsuperdawg 0
you don't have to be a redneck to like NASCAR, but you have to like NASCAR to be a redneck
Dudelike89 8
We're gonna go fast and turn ta tha left!
commietaco 0
I appreciate a good left turn. I even appreciate 600 of them...without any milk.
quadder 0
I wouldn't say redneck, but most NASCAR fans are just flat out white trash
BIEBERSLAYER 10
white trash is too far I like NASCAR and I live in a house with a yard with cut grass I'm a little bit redneck but not white trash that's offensive.
R34luver 5
^^^ high-class white-trash!!
hellbilly205 17
no you dont im pure redneck and i hate NASCAR
quadder 0
agreed hellbilly
Hosea11 0
it happens
thetrollyoulike 6
but not really though
LoveLife293 2
let him have fun! it'll all end when a cop comes to give him a ticket. its all good
BIEBERSLAYER 10
left turn!
LolMoqz 10
WOAH! LOOK AT THAT LEFT TURN! WOAH, ANOTHER ONE! YET ANOTHER! and another left.. and another.. left.. **** this, I'm leaving. I didn't pay money to watch people taking left turns for 500 laps.
Osito2011 9
right turns are over rated!
deprived13 3
ooo another left turn!!!
Philliesfan9391 3
Are you saying there is something wrong with that?
quadder 0
watching NASCAR us like watching skittles circling in a toilet bowl
jayer_hooo 0
rofl
azpallen 0
heybuddy2344
NAU_future 7
So start pretending you're on a NASCAR track, lodge your foot underneath him, and pit maneuver him right out of the car.
_Oblivion_ 12
bahaha
sweetalicious 1
NASCAR ftw :)
quadder 0
derp gonna make a left turn derp derp then another left turn derp then a sharp left derp derp
instnt1nfction 17
herpin derp
DeadRob 13
nascar rpcks
cookie_3008 4
Well isnt there a bottle of Champaigne at the end of every race?? ^_^
BIEBERSLAYER 10
no it's coke or beer champagne is for Europeans.
cookie_3008 4
I see.. =) oh well, too bad for her. ^_^
BIEBERSLAYER 10
but beer is good so it ain't bad
MrLefty 8
No I'm pretty sure it's champagne. They also will do soda and Gatorade. The driver throws around soda or Gatorade, the crew sprays champagne on the driver.
BIEBERSLAYER 10
it's whatever drink sponsors the driver
enonymous 9
Don't mix up the coke bottle for where he spits his skoal.... and don't you dare think of touching his limited edition Dale Jr autographed budweiser cooler.
BIEBERSLAYER 10
GO DALE JR. 88!!!