Today, my family is on the third day of driving cross country. My husband is still pretending he is driving on a NASCAR track, sound effects and all. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm driving cross-country with my parents. As if the stifling heat isn't bad enough, they keep stopping to admire, comment on, and practically do a photoshoot in every corn field we pass. FML
Today, I'm going on an 8-hour drive with my insane family. This usually means screaming arguments, graphic conversations about my dad's pubes, some karaoke, plenty of farting, some stale Pringles, and an obese golden retriever on my lap the entire time. Arizona, here we come. FML
Today, during a never-ending dinner with really boring friends, I faked being tired and told my husband, "Let’s go honey, we have a long way to drive home." He looks at me and says, "Well… we are at home." FML
Today, my husband put myself and our 3 year-old on a plane back to the other side of the US, because he “just can’t” with us anymore. FML
Today, we were going to Disney World all the way from North Carolina. After 12 hours of driving, my kids started fighting and complaining. My husband finally said, "If I hear you guys one more time we're turning around and going back home." They annoyed him once again, and we actually went home. FML
Today, my family and I were on a road trip. Everything was fine until we discovered that my dad, the driver, was not only fast asleep, he was also snoring. We were in the middle of the highway. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I are on our way back from vacation. It will be an eight hour drive. It just so happens I got food poisoning the night before we left, and there's roadwork everywhere. We're at a dead halt with no signs of moving. FML
Today, I'm 11 weeks pregnant and my husband has taken great glee in the fact that his horrible gas is enough to trigger my morning sickness. We're about to go on a long, 12-hour drive. FML
Today, at the crack of dawn, I started a 700-mile road trip with my three children. So far, I've stopped four times, settled several arguments, cleaned up spilled yogurt and melted silly putty. 130 miles down, 570 to go. FML
Today, I drove three and a half hours to surprise my long distance boyfriend for our anniversary. He was out of town. Where was he? Three and a half hours away trying to surprise me. FML
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Top comments
chronicstds 3
you must be a redneck
Iamnotmyself 17
Vrmmmmm, Zzzoooooom, Beeeeeeep
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Comments (154)
ahhmusic 8
...you're the one that married him
lovelifedonthate_fml 2
Join in! It's more fun that way :D
yomommma 6
Turn on the radio.
partytime1992 0
that sounds like fun
LordGoober 13
OP your husband is going 150 mph and taking all left turns? might take a while.
Daralea 21
Let him drive however he wants. Driving long distances is extremely exhausting and boring. If you're that much opposed to it go behind the wheel yourself.
skyhawkvd 0
I hope your not on the highway no right turns in nascar
Friaza 29
Cross country is meant for fitness, it's kinda pointless if you do it by car.
Lightbulb830 4
Boogity Boogity Boogity lets go racing!
Archerygal 0
I sometimes act fat with a pillow in my shirt XD TEEHEE