Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML
Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he lost his virginity. He even told me what position it was and who this girl was. I will never look at him in the same way again. He also made his hands "have sex". FML
Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML
Today, my dad told me he was planning to have his steady girlfriend over for dinner. He's only had a few relationships since he and my mom split up when I was very young, so I was excited to meet the woman. He then told me that I knew her already. My dad is dating my aunt on my mothers side. FML
Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML
Today, I found out that my best friend lost her virginity to my father. Her excuse? She was drunk. His excuse? "She's hot." FML
Today, I was introduced to my dad's girlfriend of six months. I've already heard them sleeping together several times, and seen her car pull away early in the morning. After meeting face to face, I also learned that she's only two years older than me. FML
Today, four days after making a $100 bet with my balding, pedo-stache wearing dad over who could get a girlfriend first, he came home and introduced me to his new girlfriend. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML
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Top comments
citruslime 0
awkward
perdix 31
Now he'll have a long, long time to explain exactly why he never called you again after he ****** you. The good news is that you are not going to have to scare up a date for the wedding.
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Comments (98)
Nebraskanum1 0
that is really funny fyl haha maybe keep that between you too
goalie001 0
Well go over there and get it back
trubloood 1
on the bright side you didnt get preggo with his baby
theamyamers 0
seriously? wow, that has got to suck to say the least.
shell0908 0
ha FYL
DriAA7 17
I like how you didn't just automatically recognize the guy who deflowered you.
chokolatecandie1 6
guess who joined the family ......
dt520 4
now hes your bro yo!
wtfsnickers 1
now u can keep it in the family
LiveToSkate 0
dude that totally sucks but no offense but u must be a **** for not remembering ur first