Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were drinking wine naked after sex. He went to get another glass, but on the way back tripped and fell flat on his face. His roommate unexpectedly came home, saw him face-down on the floor, thought I'd drugged him and tackled me before I could explain. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We then decided to come home, planning an intimate moment. Once home, I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I'd fallen asleep right before we'd even started. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML
Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML
Today, I finally decided to sleep with my boyfriend. It was my first time and I was really nervous so when he was being all romantic with candles and wine I went a bit overboard and drank too much. I passed out. I woke up a few hours later, still a virgin, and in a puddle of my own piss. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML
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Top comments
VickyG17 4
You were gonna do it in his parents living room? YDI
ulicksam 0
He still lives at home, so you shouldn't be doing it there anyway, but at least do it in his room. You're an idiot and you deserve it.
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Comments (86)
VickyG17 4
You were gonna do it in his parents living room? YDI
SeasonedLemur 5
Let's face it if the genders were reversed the situation would have been far worse of the OP.
angel9413 0
so true
ulicksam 0
He still lives at home, so you shouldn't be doing it there anyway, but at least do it in his room. You're an idiot and you deserve it.
baden18830 5
if they live with their parents they have to do it at the house. if you disagree you're either a virgin or over 40.
Vagabond89 0
at 72 there's a
doumtabarnack 12
so smart
knibbsy 4
YDI for attempting to fornicate in the middle of his house. I hope his parents call you the "Living Room Rapist" from now on, and make jokes about your hairy ass and saggy ******.
idkwhoiam104 0
lmfao youu shouldd listen 2 this dude
douuchebag 0
awesome
dani_zombie 0
lol your comments are hilarious :))
amerwin 3
I think he meant to grab some cover, because your skills were lacking and he was just going to finish it himself and didn't want you sticking to the sheets.
you_failed 15
Wow! Didn't you look lovely? ^_^
MacNuggets 0
lols... how lovely is that
perdix 31
I'm sure the "noises" were your stream of obscenities from your futile attempts to roll a condom on a drunk guy's flaccid ****.
KittehSayzRAWR 0
lol
iisaaciio 0
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
BrookieeCookiee 0
haha ^^
Doortje 30
That must've been awkward o.O But you should've just had sex in his bedroom then.
petrolhead 12
this one comes from auckland..... and its nice to hav an alcoholic bf :D