Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML
Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he lost his virginity. He even told me what position it was and who this girl was. I will never look at him in the same way again. He also made his hands "have sex". FML
Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML
Today, my dad told me he was planning to have his steady girlfriend over for dinner. He's only had a few relationships since he and my mom split up when I was very young, so I was excited to meet the woman. He then told me that I knew her already. My dad is dating my aunt on my mothers side. FML
Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML
Today, I found out that my best friend lost her virginity to my father. Her excuse? She was drunk. His excuse? "She's hot." FML
Today, I was introduced to my dad's girlfriend of six months. I've already heard them sleeping together several times, and seen her car pull away early in the morning. After meeting face to face, I also learned that she's only two years older than me. FML
Today, four days after making a $100 bet with my balding, pedo-stache wearing dad over who could get a girlfriend first, he came home and introduced me to his new girlfriend. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML
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Top comments
citruslime 0
awkward
perdix 31
Now he'll have a long, long time to explain exactly why he never called you again after he ****** you. The good news is that you are not going to have to scare up a date for the wedding.
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Comments (98)
Iissosmart 5
All of y'all are RETARDED. She easily recognized him right off the bat but worded the FML in a way that people wouldn't expect what she was gonna say. Have you never seen something like that anywhere else?
kialuvsyoo 3
YDI losing it to some stranger
Kua_Mei 0
How do you know he was a stranger when she lost her virginity to him? She could have been with him for awhile, lost her virginity to him, broke up with him awhile later, then not see much of him for a long time. Just because it took her a short moment to recognize him doesn't mean he was a stranger.
enoughgrace 4
I guess he could be the opener and the closer... time will tell!
katybean12 0
That is going to be so awkwarddddddddddd
notconvinced 0
Maybe the guy is a meth addict...he may look completely different from when she slept with him. I grew up with this kid...knew him for about 12 years. I moved away for five, went to a friends wedding and had NO IDEA who he was when he came up and started talking to me.
mr_miyagi 0
double dates!!!!!!! yaaayyyy!!!
robinsn 0
It doesn't really matter. He wasn't your step brother at the time; you did nothing wrong. Is it a little awkward? Of course. But there's no reason either parent needs to find out about it. Or, conversely, if they don't end up getting married maybe you can get back together with him.
Viceman0001 0
This, people, is the down side to one-night stands
Brittneyyyy 7
Agreed with #106... can't reply to individual comments on my phone >:(
mackieflann 3
....You ****** your brother