Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he lost his virginity. He even told me what position it was and who this girl was. I will never look at him in the same way again. He also made his hands "have sex". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML
Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend decided to humiliate me by confessing to my dad in detail what he and I had done together and "apologizing" for taking my virginity. FML
Today, I was masturbating when my dad came into my room to say goodnight. He leaned down over my bed, paused, and said, "What's that smell? It's like... oh." His face dropped and he left the room. I don't think he'll ever see me the same way again. FML
Today, I saw my father for the first time in two years. He felt compelled to tell me about how he got involved with a BDSM group and got an STD because of it. FML
Today, my father-in-law confessed during dinner that he watched me and my wife have sex that morning through the window. He even more awkwardly brought it back up later that evening to say I seemed very good at it, and tried asking for details about me and my wife’s sex life. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML
Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML
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Top comments
mcfaily 0
he was giving pointers, how nice of him to lend a hand ;)
virusin 0
did he finger the hands? hahah get it FINGER! ohh f**k you guys u.u
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Comments (52)
coolcat33 0
nasty lil guy aren't ya? lol. yo daddy sounds funny this isn't an fml this is a great story to tell your friends you fool!.
jhoward7 0
the hands part made it hilarious
Boygenius50 8
C'mon, you know it turned you on ;)
pedosmurf 7
He shoulda been like no hands ;)
bhangu023 0
awkward
cavalos94 0
dumb
mcfaily 0
he was giving pointers, how nice of him to lend a hand ;)
chaos753159 4
puns FTW
AliceC_fml 3
uhmmm... EWW
starbucksfan33 0
I agree with 5 it's sick yo! but in the bright side, you can use this as an amazing story :]
virusin 0
did he finger the hands? hahah get it FINGER! ohh f**k you guys u.u
Rawr100 0
xD
alexblue 5
For sure!
Hotshot132 0
hahaha
martic835 2
He probably did that to make sure you stay a virgin for a long time.
tomwillkickyouin 0
lol yeah
meowx 0
This is fake. It's already been posted before.