Today, I was in the car with my mom and dad. My mom turned around and asked, "Have you had sex yet?" I said no, which is true. My dad cracked up and said, "Told you so!" My mom frowned, took out her wallet, and handed him $20. My parents bet on my nonexistent sex life. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML
Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML
Today, my mother had "The talk" with me about sex. I spent the entire time confused as to what brought this up, until she mentioned she had found a used condom in the backseat of the car. I haven't had any action in it, and have no idea whose it was. FML
Today, I overheard my parents talking about me and discussing how I've never had a boyfriend. My mum laughed that maybe they should pay someone to go out with me, and my dad replied, "Heh, not enough money in the world." FML
Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
Today, I, for some reason, was talking to my mom about money. I jokingly said that the reason we're short on cash is because of her internet porn addiction. She replied, with a straight face, "How did you know?" I'm still not sure if she's joking or not. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that my mom paid him to date me. FML
Today, I left the house to get groceries. My parents asked me where I was going and how long I would be gone for. Thinking they were just being inquisitive parents, I ignored them. I got home 20 minutes later to them having sex. FML
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Top comments
Jaucet 0
Well at least your parents are funny!
mitch707 0
Atleast your Mum has faith in you.
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Comments (117)
Jaucet 0
Well at least your parents are funny!
Jmido 0
FYI because you haven't had sex yet.
saweetdude93 0
2!!!!!!!!
AAAAHHHH12 2
No, #27, you're 27. Don't think you're all high-and-mighty because your post was attached to #1. Nobody cares.
MR_OHCRAP 0
OP, ask your dad if he ever given your mum an ******, that will shut him up.
Bokusui 0
Hey #27 grow up -_-.
MadaFaka_fml 0
how old r u anyways?
tech42er 0
Yeah, it's nice your mom isn't all freaked out about sex.
pyromanac 0
very true very true at least your mom is really cool she was betting that you did... i would love your mom
JoshTheMaggot 8
either way guys 27s a dumbass cuz he would have been 3rd. learn count dumbass. and as for the OP fyl. but atleast your not a *****. :)
poezpoee 0
true dat my parents are annoying as shit
qwerty4321 0
78, but then she could be freaky with sex. OP, uncomfortable much :(
jillian_xx 0
better than them calling you a *****.
Pink_ElePhant88 0
On the bright side no one can call you a **** in your family and it's not THAT bad that you're a virgin....depending on how old you are, if you 30 then FYL
yuhhkno 0
how old are youu?! lmfaoo funny parents
TheOptimist 0
Jeeze OP, you ****** *****.
iSmellNice 2
This reminds me of the guy whose parents bet whether he was gay
craigahh 0
I thought the same thing.
Raptorix2012 17
same here
mitch707 0
Atleast your Mum has faith in you.
lolownedimo 0
This
Jehanne_fml 0
God forbid that she sully her feminine virtue, eh?
perfectwinds 0
That's EXACTLY what I was thinking when I read it. Haha! At least his mom thought he had. Dad knew best I guess. =P
Cloudy_fml 0
perfectwinds - OP is a she. =P
MR_OHCRAP 0
I know, ask your dad if he ever given your mum an ******, that will shut him up.
yuhhkno 0
#4 yeah her mom had faith in her but she let her down!
jasnoo 0
I can't wait to do that to my kids someday XD
stanish 0
Oh for sure. FML has taught me some of the best ways to deal with kids.
Sipheonix 0
Forreal. I'm for sure doing this to my kids too. Except I hope I don't lose $20
NDouglas 0
At least your dad has faith in you.
regalarius 0
Or your mom, depending on what you think 'faith' would be :-)
deja54 0
I don't think "he can't get any" is having much faith.
Mandy_fml 0
Your parents sound hilarious :)
nozloc 0
i am so doing this to my son one day!
SushiChef 0
Damn well I guess it is alright if you are still living at home... but FYL get some hahaha
rrs_fml 0
Wow. Actually, shouldn't your parents be happy you haven't had sex, especially if you're waiting for the one?
Nenor_fml 0
why would they be happy that she's a freak?
metheonlyb 17
What make you think Virgins are all freaks?? Sexual preferences are different for different people. Learn to respect it asshole. I'm 20 year old straight guy and I'm still a virgin. I don't see anything freakish about me!! Go FYL