Today, four days after making a $100 bet with my balding, pedo-stache wearing dad over who could get a girlfriend first, he came home and introduced me to his new girlfriend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
Today, I was introduced to my dad's girlfriend of six months. I've already heard them sleeping together several times, and seen her car pull away early in the morning. After meeting face to face, I also learned that she's only two years older than me. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
Today, I went to pick up my daughter from my dad's house. He'd shaved her head bald. "For a laugh." FML
Today, my crush won the bet that I made with him yesterday. The bet? That he couldn't land a date by the end of the day. Not only am I down $10, but a possible boyfriend too. FML
Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
Today, my dad walked in to the arena where I was watching a hockey game with my boyfriend and his friends. My dad was wearing a crazy grey mohawk wig/hat. Meanwhile, my boyfriend just finished telling me how embarassing it would be to be that guy's kid. FML
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Top comments
SinfulTragedy 19
The 'stache got game. Can't compete with that.
kayydb7 14
He's had more experience. He knows exactly what to say to pick up a woman.
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Comments (77)
Nederlander95 14
He's probably got more swag than you
ironichalibut 24
Or OP simply wasn't trying very hard. Dad with the Stache is probably well versed in trying hard.
NoMore_CoolNames 14
"He is probably got more swag than you"????
hashshim 23
#22 I'm sure that #1 was contracting he and has, not he and is.
glabberfasted 16
22 - Seriously? It's "he has"
ironichalibut 24
Seriously FML? I was trying to be a dick in my last comment. Is that really what gets up votes nowadays? Yet when I make jokes in good-hearted fun, they're down voted? FMK community, y u no make sense?!
ironichalibut 24
I'll try harder next time 40, just for you. Being a dick is hard for someone normally as nice as me.
adamo_erebus 26
OP's dad sounds uncannily like one of my university professors...
aimzskee 30
One should never use the word swag when being serious.
SinfulTragedy 19
The 'stache got game. Can't compete with that.
kayydb7 14
He's had more experience. He knows exactly what to say to pick up a woman.
IloveToLaugh143 21
Or, he promised to buy her something if he won the bet. I guess either way is pretty effective.
GEBEH 14
I need these magic words capable of sweaping any woman of her feet, do you possess the knowledge required?
superpoptart 24
48 - "u want sum ***?"
Rallred32 20
Like "hey, wanna get in my van?"
kayydb7 14
"You come here often?"
cnewton84 28
Don't underestimate Pedos. They might surprise you
cyttex 13
In more ways than one?
harrypotter955 19
If he's a pedo, you should find out how old the girl is...
harrypotter955 19
Sorry I read that wrong.
blcksocks 19
Maybe he paid someone 50 bucks to pretend as his GF.. $50 profit :)
OhWhoCares 42
That was my first thought, LOL. He might've paid her...does this count as prostitution?
warsun 27
I thought that was for sex?
blinked_281 29
There's a chance he might've lied and this girl is just one of his old friends you've never met. But he is older, so he probably knows a bit more about picking up the ladies
skittyskatbrat 19
So, how old was she?
warsun 27
Born afew hours ago
Retrokitty 9
We all have different opinions on what's attractive. Just because you don't think his look is attractive, doesn't mean others think the same.
NoMore_CoolNames 14
Our fathers know things we don't, learn from him.