Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML
Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he lost his virginity. He even told me what position it was and who this girl was. I will never look at him in the same way again. He also made his hands "have sex". FML
Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML
Today, my dad told me he was planning to have his steady girlfriend over for dinner. He's only had a few relationships since he and my mom split up when I was very young, so I was excited to meet the woman. He then told me that I knew her already. My dad is dating my aunt on my mothers side. FML
Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML
Today, I found out that my best friend lost her virginity to my father. Her excuse? She was drunk. His excuse? "She's hot." FML
Today, I was introduced to my dad's girlfriend of six months. I've already heard them sleeping together several times, and seen her car pull away early in the morning. After meeting face to face, I also learned that she's only two years older than me. FML
Today, four days after making a $100 bet with my balding, pedo-stache wearing dad over who could get a girlfriend first, he came home and introduced me to his new girlfriend. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML
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Top comments
citruslime 0
awkward
perdix 31
Now he'll have a long, long time to explain exactly why he never called you again after he ****** you. The good news is that you are not going to have to scare up a date for the wedding.
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Comments (98)
JManHobbs 0
Do I get a prize?
citruslime 0
awkward
tttiffany 0
Right? That sucks. What an awkward situation to have to explain in the future. & looked familiar?! I wouldn't just find the person I lost my virginity look 'familiar' Wouldn't they be the opposite; recognizable at an instant?
joshijosh 0
someone's addicted to gossipgirl. haha i dont even watch the movie and i know the plot. LOL
sucks4you09 0
aha time for seconds?
z620 0
That's indirect incest. Try explaining that to people.
Nhanzter 5
58- I laugh at you. ha
fthku 13
It surprises me everytime how some people take EVERY single word as literal. (Referring to the comments about OP saying he was familiar) Makes me wonder if you ever.. I dunno.. talk?
caleb_m91 1
81- **** you :( wish I had a stomach like that.
ithappens28 0
ohh i get it :) thanks
fthku 13
Nhanzter, are you really 16? Your face suggests mid 30s.
mr_miyagi 0
asians dont age, you didnt know that?
DaveOnDope 4
incest is bestes
experience333 0
lol wh*** and him too
tedirvine 2
WTF how is she a *****??? just bc she had sex?? WTF is wrong with you psychopathic christians that don't think people should have sex before marriage? what's your reasoning behind that??
Kickmehard 0
Sex is the devil.
nathan5 0
Psycopatcic christians? Psycopathic means someone with severe mental problems who may act violenly and without remorse. Now whats you reasoning behind that? OK have your opinion, but im fairly sure christians arent psycopaths..mostly anyway! haha And to give some reasoning: we believe sex should be reservered for marriage as it is sacred in gods eyes, for couples showing that they are one, bonded in marriage and have preserved our bodies for this person. Also there are social reasons are health reasons. Some of this is why we believe divorce is wrong too. This is some of the 'reasoning'. Feel free to argue your point but please, dont be insulting like that...
nathan5 0
Psycopatcic? Wow fail by me lol. *Psychopathic Tiny ipod keyboard is evil!!
RedPillSucks 33
Tiny ipod keyboard = sex
sloppyflow 1
you gotta accept some people aren't religious. and they don't put on the 'reserve' label on their pussy, It's a good thing saving it for the right one. but of course I also believe sex can be a expression of love and plays a big role in maintaining the relationships and if it's necessary you have to give it all in it all depends on how you see it. anyway reply to the main entry, just because she had sex before marriage doesn't makes her a *****.
whoopyouupsideyo 0
now you can re-kindle the old fire all the time. lol
dumbestdrummer 0
no chance of mutations. thank you step siblings.
poiuytjfffc 0
hehe:
quickit 24
Aw ****!
you_failed 15
That is SUPER AWKWARD!!!!!! :X haha sucks!!
amerwin 3
That's one way to "keep it in the family". Maybe you guys will get lucky and have a connecting bathroom.
RedPillSucks 33
They've already had sex, so it can't be too "ew". Now if it was a bad breakup, then there's a problem.
KiaMaster 0
so would that now count as incest?
DeesFMLs 0
nah not blood related
Utexas913 3
Maybe just social taboo lol...either way, should make for an interesting follow up conversation post introductions ha ha.
darkblitz_fml 0
this... is wincest.
xoxo_Becky_xoxo 0
Well that's.....awkward Look on the brightside..at least you won't have to get to know your new step brother...:D
TheNewGuy03 29
Because they knew each other. In the Biblical sense.
Kickmehard 0
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
monkeywrench1 10
Hahaha! Good one!
Complaining 13
I never got where that was from.
perdix 31
Now he'll have a long, long time to explain exactly why he never called you again after he ****** you. The good news is that you are not going to have to scare up a date for the wedding.