Today, my dad thought it would be OK to make sound effects for everything he did, in a public park, with me tagging along behind. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML
Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML
Today, my dad had fun embarrassing me as much as possible in my parent-teacher conference by moaning whenever the teacher talked. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
Today, in honor of America's birthday, my 50-year-old father decided to light off homemade bombs without telling anyone. The screams of me and my family members were louder than the bombs. FML
Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML
Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML
Today, feeling melancholic, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML
Today, I was forced to go to the mall with my dad. He wore a bear suit the entire time. FML
Today, I took my kids to the beach. My autistic son decided it was a good idea to pretend he was drowning. I tried to tell onlookers he was fine and not to worry. My son popped out of the water and laughed hysterically at them. FML
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Top comments
bigmike315 0
at leased he wasnt rubbing one out, i would want to know that sound effect
joshuaUNWRITTEN 0
Dads these days..
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Comments (87)
ihaveatightbutt 0
thats actually really funny im going to do that when i have kids thumbs up if my picture made you chuckle.
anorexicbarbie 8
This isn't YouTube.
BIEBERSLAYER 10
did he jump in the fountain and start doing the jaws music.
NeverShoutDana 13
Well, you are behind him. Run away.
iAmScrubs 19
Dad preparing for liftoff in 5-4-3-2-1. Zeeeeeeeeeeoooooomph!
anothersuicide 0
daddies growing up...THEY GROW UP SO FAST!
je_suis_fml 11
*Daddy's (Daddy is..)
BeatlesObsessed 12
Wasn't it enough for him trying to make the cats Christians?
darkangel4700 0
lmao I saw that it was halerious
JFizzy69 5
Why are you embarrassed? That is awesome. I would be joining him lol.
youliketacos 0
You should have made louder sound effects, then maybe he would stop.
Senior29 8
kick him in the crotch and listen to the sound effect ;)
Suddenly 0
is your dad bill Cosby?
Jaxx66 21
I wish my dad was like Bill Cosby. everything would be WAY more entertaining.