Today, my dad thought it would be OK to make sound effects for everything he did, in a public park, with me tagging along behind. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML
Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML
Today, my dad had fun embarrassing me as much as possible in my parent-teacher conference by moaning whenever the teacher talked. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
Today, in honor of America's birthday, my 50-year-old father decided to light off homemade bombs without telling anyone. The screams of me and my family members were louder than the bombs. FML
Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML
Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML
Today, feeling melancholic, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML
Today, I was forced to go to the mall with my dad. He wore a bear suit the entire time. FML
Today, I took my kids to the beach. My autistic son decided it was a good idea to pretend he was drowning. I tried to tell onlookers he was fine and not to worry. My son popped out of the water and laughed hysterically at them. FML
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Top comments
bigmike315 0
at leased he wasnt rubbing one out, i would want to know that sound effect
joshuaUNWRITTEN 0
Dads these days..
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Comments (87)
FamilyGuyFTW 0
Trust me, my dad has done worse :p
im_awsome 2
I wish my dad has a sense of humor.!
CallMeHush 1
If you can't beat him, join in. Might as well have some fun.
Ncramer1 0
How is this an FML?
yeahWhatevuh 0
and my dad always decides to "make up" his own language just speak it loudly in public. not just to me, but to strangers too. you're not alone
imneverhigh8p 0
get over it
KatieLov3sChu 4
this to me screams role model
ToriTheTurtlexD 0
Your dad sounds Epic :3
ahouser 0
That doesn't seem so bad. I would have joined in along with him. If you can't beat 'em join 'em. Who knows, you could have fun, while bonding with your dad all in one.
RMRaidersNumbah3 0
hAHAHA sounds like something i would do :P