Today, my dad thought it would be OK to make sound effects for everything he did, in a public park, with me tagging along behind. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML
Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML
Today, my dad had fun embarrassing me as much as possible in my parent-teacher conference by moaning whenever the teacher talked. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
Today, in honor of America's birthday, my 50-year-old father decided to light off homemade bombs without telling anyone. The screams of me and my family members were louder than the bombs. FML
Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML
Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML
Today, feeling melancholic, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML
Today, I was forced to go to the mall with my dad. He wore a bear suit the entire time. FML
Today, I took my kids to the beach. My autistic son decided it was a good idea to pretend he was drowning. I tried to tell onlookers he was fine and not to worry. My son popped out of the water and laughed hysterically at them. FML
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Top comments
bigmike315 0
at leased he wasnt rubbing one out, i would want to know that sound effect
joshuaUNWRITTEN 0
Dads these days..
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Comments (87)
bigmike315 0
at leased he wasnt rubbing one out, i would want to know that sound effect
kendallhi 9
what a respectable dad
OkayImSorry 0
That sound effect can be written out as, " Sploosh splash ca ca spla spla spla ka ka BANG!!!!"
katiekatie412 4
"Is that your dad?" "Who, that crazy guy? ....I've never seen him before in my life."
OkayImSorry 0
Hope I helped you out homie. :).
lmfaoooooooooo 4
is your father by any chanc Peter Griffin
Jaxx66 21
what's wrong with him being a little silly? o.o
ColdplaySucks 18
tag further behind.
skizzlerz 0
that sounds like fun. Heck, I make sound effects for things I do randomly throughout the day. Who cares if people think you're crazy-at least you know it's just because you're more awesome than they are ;D
tatababe 1
its fun everyone should try it;)
je_suis_fml 11
Some people don't have fathers. Wish mines were alive to make sound effects. Fyl for complaining about the nonsensical...
BaMaBelle11 0
your daddy seems pretty funny 2 me... my daddy walks around and barks like a dog at people ( he's really good at it 2) ha
chuckychan 8
Join in! And who cares
kendallhi 9
let's hope you don't know anybody there
ArentICute 0
Turn around and stare at one of the citizens and say "my word"! Problem solved.
Randuhh_17 4
that's freakin awesome! quit your bitchin', and enjoy the fact that your dad is still alive, and likes to have fun! I wish my dad were alive to do that!
tittymagic 0
amen
Rainbow_dumpster 28
How sad. :(
partyfool2011 4
sad? your dad is a champ
2muzicluv3r2 0
Lol! That sucks but is really funny
cuntfacekillah 5
what's so wrong with that?!
joshuaUNWRITTEN 0
Dads these days..
ThanksKarma 0
Some Saturdays I take my dad to walk at the beach and he takes off walking all while talking angrily to a "fake bird" on his shoulder.
JoeTheMan12 0
fathers do the darnest things these days!
ryanst 7
Don't use that phrase! Bill Cosby might show up.. *glances around nervously*
volley4eva1698 0
chances are you didn't know many people there if you were with your dad but idk haha
katynkayy 0
I'm curious as to what sound effects he could possibly make in a park... but yeah, FYL. if that was my dad, I would be super embarrassed.
oboewhore_xD 6
I'd be super turned on.
takanuva0123 0
So what if her dad makes sound effects, I don't know what all of you are complaining about. But people like her, they should be grateful they even have a dad to be with.
anorexicbarbie 8
Oh god, here comes the "be grateful you have a dad" logic. Just... be quiet.
je_suis_fml 11
35 - The truth is the truth. Try joining them in their silence.
trevishere 7
In a park there's a:: swing, teeter totter, merry go round thing, slides, maybe rock climbing wall, walking track... Figure it out! =D
anorexicbarbie 8
43 Oh shut the **** up, my father passed away four years ago and I'm not going to be like "waaaa you have a dad and I don't!". Sheesh.
MeganCello 8
Yeah, well you felt the urge to bring up your dad's passing. So indirectly, you did. Dumbass.
anorexicbarbie 8
I was making a point that not all people who don't have fathers complain that they don't to people who still have theirs around. Go be stupid somewhere else, thaaaanks.
je_suis_fml 11
68- some people may not go around complaining about not having a father, HOWEVER some people may choose to be passive/aggressive (profanity & name calling unprovoked) about it in the comment sections of silly websites. *in my concerned voice* I'm no therapist, but you may want to get that anger issue checked out. It's okay to mourn... go 'head.. cry it out. You'll feel a lot better and be less apt to spazz over silly comments that plays no relevance in your life. :)
ColtsDoug18 0
did he at any point groan.. that would be disturbing
chuymac 3
He is talented, it would of been better if he acted like a ninja. He would be crawling, rolling, and hiding behind trees. ah I did this once ; )
anorexicbarbie 8
Be glad that your dad still has a sense of humor and isn't so uptight.