Today, my dad sat me down and angrily accused me of doing drugs, all because he's noticed I've recently become a lot more energetic and emotional than usual. The truth is, I'd been smoking weed daily for 3 years and just decided to never smoke it again 2 weeks ago. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Today, my dad yelled at me for using legal marijuana to help treat my potentially terminal cancer, which is kind of hypocritical for the man who spent significant portions of my childhood in jail for selling cocaine to rich high school kids. FML
Today, my father contacted me for the first time in close to 2 months. The first thing he did was ask if I wanted to buy some weed. FML
Today, my mom thought I was flying high on weed and nearly grounded me for it. I wasn't high, I was just actually in a good mood for the first time in a few weeks. FML
Today, my dad heard that the guy who bullied me at school died recently of a drug overdose. For some reason, he thinks we were actually best friends, and thinks I'm doing drugs too. I'm now not allowed out of the house except to go to school. He won't listen to a word I say. FML
Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML
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Top comments
ProfessorMctitie 20
Tell him the truth then
WCARlover 35
Looks like you made a good decision then! Did you tell him the truth?
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Comments (105)
norisorroz 28
Offer to take a drug test!
laden_swallow09 35
And comments closed in 3… 2… 1…
SasquatchDeluxe 10
YDI for having a three-year dope habit.
mattrd_fml 31
OP's mom has got it goin on.
Emz1307 8
Well done for stopping!
EvilBubbles 9
when high you is better than the real you lmao
dractheripper 11
Good on you for stopping. Having more energy and drive is a good thing.
jadalaheart 23
Good for you! I think it's cool that you were able to realize how that was affecting you, and then deciding to quit of your own volition! I have a lot of friends and family that are addicted to pot so I think its impressive, and I hope it works out for you. (^u^)
nialls_girl 13
Well come clean, bro. FYL
Emily282828 2
Lol. Seriously?? Well, don't give up on the quitting thing. Stay strong