Today, my mom thought I was flying high on weed and nearly grounded me for it. I wasn't high, I was just actually in a good mood for the first time in a few weeks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, unlike what you may have joked about with your friends, I actually did meet people who told me to "take a hit or we'll beat the shit out of you." I got picked up by my mom 20 minutes later like planned. When my mom noticed I was high, she grounded me for the "rest of high school." FML
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, I baked some brownies and after my mom ate one, I joked that I put weed in them. Turns out the placebo effect's a bitch, because she quickly started acting high as a kite. One bitch fit later, the brownies are in the trash and I'm grounded until I tell her where I bought the "weed". FML
Today, my dad sat me down and angrily accused me of doing drugs, all because he's noticed I've recently become a lot more energetic and emotional than usual. The truth is, I'd been smoking weed daily for 3 years and just decided to never smoke it again 2 weeks ago. FML
Today, my mom talked to me and my brother about how great it was that our cousin was getting away from drugs and becoming sober, as he would have so many more opportunities opened up for him now. She explained all this while sitting on our patio, smoking a blunt. FML
Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
Today, my psycho mom walked in while I was chilling and having fun with some friends. She kicked them out and now wants to drug test me, because, "Nobody's that happy without drugs." FML
Today, I wasn’t hungover at work for a change, after quitting heavy drinking of 10+ years. My boss accused me of being “high as a kite on drugs”, because I was “suspiciously chirpy.” FML
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Top comments
mrghdfy76 8
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE WOAAAAHOHOH
OfficialJSmooth 8
Flying high... Grounded... See what he did there?
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Comments (147)
Dixbfloppin 11
Haha, parents can be suspicious. FYL, OP.
Thursday737 7
your profile pic isbthe exact opposite of what someone saying that would look like.
Thursday737 7
derp typing
HowAreYouToday 34
Anyone notice how "OP" is like the cyclops version of ":P"?
Roevera 14
Finally feeling happy. In comes troll mom. Aaaaand there it goes.
Screwie 25
Meh, screw weed, I'm only high after sex.
_duhastmich 11
You should make them buy a drug test before grounding you. That's what my brother did to my parents.. But it ended up being positive anyway lol.
Rin_deviluke 3
High on life enough said!
Marissa1586 18
LOL!
alessandrakf 6
Good for you! :)
HowAreYouToday 34
Yeah! Good for you.
Awkward_Science 2
Moral of the story: moping always wins
TourettesGuyFTW 26
**** yeah!!!!!
slurshies 11
OP: I'm in such a great mood :D first time this has happened for weeks! OP's mom: *enters room* OP: oh hey mom! I'm feeling great! OP's mom: you're high. aaaaand grounded. OP: wtf??? good feeling's gone :/
HowAreYouToday 34
My parents do the same thing when I'm happy
R3TROxLOV3 32
My mother does the opposite. If I'm in a bad mood, she gets on my case. So I constantly have to pretend to be happy, because if I dare let on that I'm upset, I get punished. Like I literally get grounded for crying.
HowAreYouToday 34
Ah. Well, thankfully I'm a thousand miles away from the 'rents. XD it's just that my phone calls go like this: "yeah, life is going great right now." "OMIGOD ARE YOU ON DRUGS?!"
_duhastmich 11
"How are you today, HowAreYouToday? You better not be happy!"
Marissa1586 18
I get you! Same with my mom. All my mom says is sop making a fool out of urself. What a great way to make someone happy again huh? xP
duhhspammerx3 16
One time I was in a really good mood, and my mom thought I was on drugs because of it. I never thought of myself of being gloomy, and it was a mood killer and sort of depressing. Sigh.
mrghdfy76 8
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE WOAAAAHOHOH
Jiinxx 8
... aaaand now the song is stuck in my head.
BunchieRules 31
And don't it feel good? Yes, grammar Nazis, not all songs use perfect english.
Trisha_aus 15
Oh great, this also reminded me of "i gotta pocket full of sunshine" well it'll be stuck in my head for quite a while..like Emma stone in easy A, I'll be singing that in the fricken shower.
Inheritance 10
"Woah double rainbow all the way in the sky!"
Inheritance 10
Across the sky* just noticed hah..
richy90255 8
I instantly thought of Family guy when I read your comment
Marissa1586 18
I don't understand o.0
perdix 31
It must suck to have goth parents.
HowAreYouToday 34
"you're happy?! That's it! You're grounded for a month!"
TiMe_oF_dYiNg13 6
Where from OP's statement did you get "Goth Parents"
perdix 31
#26, from making shit up -- it's kinda my hobby, and my gift.
_duhastmich 11
26 - she got it from your name
Brandi_Faith 34
Perdix is a guy, just thought you should know.
_duhastmich 11
Riight thanks. My apologies, mister perdix.
ebonyirony 29
26, don't tell me you practice goth.
BIGBOY4rmAHM 19
71- I never knew you could practice goth. I thought one just became goth? Hmm. I'll be back. I need to research this.
Demonfish 14
60- you never know, perdix Could have been lying to us all this time, just to screw with our minds... °_•
meihua 19
In Hungary, white is the new black!
nado13579 12
"Mom, I'm happy." :) "Happy?! What the hell kinda drugs are you on?!!"
Thursday737 7
I wonder what they would think if you were actually high?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
"Why the hell is our child dancing on the roof, singing Bob Marley songs?"
bertman21 5
This is a crappy fml he didn't even get grounded. Who cares if his parents think he's on drugs. Worst fml ever!!
The_F3rris 11
They probably wouldn't have a clue.
Hershey903 5
They'd probably flip out on him twice as much, One being he's on drugs and two for him trying to get the lobster off of their face.
horneyhic 15
Drugs are good mkay
OfficialJSmooth 8
Flying high... Grounded... See what he did there?
Nbackus9 4
Nice catch ;)
JaykeXD 9
U were just high on life! :D
mtrrace 4
Well don't let that bring you down:)
cr3ativity 15
I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad/ I got sunshine, in a bag/ I'm not useless, but not for long/ 'cause the future, is coming on, it's coming on. (I am sorry for those who dont get this reference)
morganrules123 10
That song is gonna be stuck in my head for a week now. Thanks.
wildsweetchild 19
Love this song! ..thanks.. now it's stuck in my head... till the end of my workday, everybody at my work will be mumbling it as well :D
emilyjgraham 34
you know when you see lyrics, you're able to sing them but you're mind isn't capable of telling you the name and artist? I have that right now :( I'm gonna have to Google this :(
mrnuleef 7
Gorillaz - clint eastwood. Song rules! Feel good inc kicks ass too. Anyone remember the old itunes dancing silhouette commercials?
emilyjgraham 34
only just noticed my mistake *your. I need to slow down when typing or proof read!
The_F3rris 11
You know what that song is about right? You stiff anti-weed butts.