Today, my dad sat me down and angrily accused me of doing drugs, all because he's noticed I've recently become a lot more energetic and emotional than usual. The truth is, I'd been smoking weed daily for 3 years and just decided to never smoke it again 2 weeks ago. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Sneaky dad
Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Dope
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Ironic
Today, my dad yelled at me for using legal marijuana to help treat my potentially terminal cancer, which is kind of hypocritical for the man who spent significant portions of my childhood in jail for selling cocaine to rich high school kids. FML
Today, my father contacted me for the first time in close to 2 months. The first thing he did was ask if I wanted to buy some weed. FML
Today, my mom thought I was flying high on weed and nearly grounded me for it. I wasn't high, I was just actually in a good mood for the first time in a few weeks. FML
Miscommunication
Today, my dad heard that the guy who bullied me at school died recently of a drug overdose. For some reason, he thinks we were actually best friends, and thinks I'm doing drugs too. I'm now not allowed out of the house except to go to school. He won't listen to a word I say. FML
Crisis control
Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML
Top comments
ProfessorMctitie 20
Tell him the truth then
WCARlover 35
Looks like you made a good decision then! Did you tell him the truth?
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Comments (105)
ProfessorMctitie 20
Tell him the truth then
munchly 17
I would avoid the truth actually... They'll be more upset then proud of your decision
NeatNit 33
"Dad, weed better talk"
Skullkid0810 4
Get out
johnrdz3 24
"High dad. We need to talk"
riffehunter 16
"hey dad?...... Damn if I wasn't totally baked I'd have the best pun right now,"
WCARlover 35
Looks like you made a good decision then! Did you tell him the truth?
dragonvale19 12
If he tells him he'll overreact...... Like.... REALLY OVERREACT
Moklon 18
Good for you for quitting
cutycat136 28
Sit him down and say "Dad, I am being this way now because I have become a better person. I have made a change in my life and I feel great about it. I swear I am not doing drugs. This is just who I am now."
VeganDarkLight 31
Just because he's not smoking weed anymore doesn't make him a better person. I agree on the other parts though!
munchly 17
This is a much better response! Better then the full truth
TrippingOnAcid 29
#11 Making the right choice is the first step to being a better person. Don't be so cynical. Rock on OP!
dragonvale19 12
I dont know what cynical means... Oh wait, now i do. :P
VeganDarkLight 31
I wasn't being cynical. It's just that I know some amazing people who happen to smoke weed and some horrible ones who don't do drugs, just as the other way around. Thus, to me it's wrong to say somebody is a better person just because he doesn't smoke weed. It might make the way he feels and his life better, but not the person he is. (of course this is the same for women)
VeganDarkLight 31
Damn, editing time ran out but I wantend to add "and transgender, intersexual etc. people" into that bracket. Was too stupid and tired to simply use "they" instead of "he", sorry.
quickfingers100 15
It's all gone a little Alanis!
LittleMissShadow 16
Good on you for quitting!
Likian5 26
I don't understand why everyone's saying "congrats for quitting." Weed ain't that bad compared to smoking cigarettes or being an alcoholic. That's like saying "congrats on cancelling your gym membership!"
Algorithm 24
35, if you think smoking weed is comparable to having a gym membership, you're either smoking weed very wrong or using the gym in ways that I don't want to know about.
TheBelt 19
1 week later (*stoned*)
whitevenom 12
Where did opi say anything about smoking cigarettes or drinking alcohol? And if opi had quit either of those, people would still be making the same remarks. We're not supposed to put any of that shit in our bodies. I second #36
theTravinator 21
Honestly, marijuana has so many different effects on a ton of different people. OP quit because of personal reasons and I say good for them. I used to smoke for about a year and I still got a 4.0 GPA, but my parents freaked the ever-living shit out at me so I quit with no issue and have been sober since. However, I have seen people spend their last bit of spending money on weed (which is totally stupid) TL:DR good on op for making a personal decision to better themselves
gracehi 33
I'm no anti-marijuana person, but it completely baffles me when people pretend that it's harmless or even good for you. It's a recreational drug. Unless you have glaucoma or chronic pain, you don't need to be using it, and ask your doing is inhaling smoke and / or print chemicals in your body that don't need to be there, which can only do you harm. It's not that much different than claiming it's perfectly fine to use vicodin recreationally.
gracehi 33
Sorry for the typos. Ducking Swype.
Brooke5702 13
Weed drains your dopamine (It's pretty much your happiness) and leaves you sad after you get done smoking it, causing you to smoke more. Leaving the drug alone and never touching it will let you and your "happiness" return without some substitute.
Zach_Puncake 14
#49 If weed is bot meant for consumption why the **** is it here?
theTravinator 21
#83 Please tell me that isn't a legitimate question you are actually asking. Poisonous berries "are there", poison ivy "is there", a bunch of dangerous shit "is there", but it's not all for human consumption.
jamesr242 9
There are ways to virtually eliminate the health risks. For example, I only vaporize the stuff as to not inhale the harmful smoke. The smoke is what's bad for you, not weed. Also, my health has never been better since I started using weed again. I've actually lost weight even though I haven't been exercising (probably because I hardly drink beer anymore). I have a good career as an engineer, am happily married, and remodeled our whole house in my spare time. This unhealthy, unhappy, lazy stoner stuff is just a BS stereotype
haynesbrand93 6
so hes upset that youre not emo anymore? parents...
IAmzephyr 22
smoking weed doesn't automatically make someone part of the emo group.
VeganDarkLight 31
The FML says he's become more emotional, so your wording doesn't make much sense.
Ang3lofd3ath167 18
Emo is just short for emotional
vmbrocca 13
Well aside from your dad's reaction I hope you are positive about the changes in your behavior and have found more happiness since you've quit smoking. Sure that numbness is enjoyable but I think that now that you've quit you'll be able to live and enjoy life more then you could of before. I wish you luck and I hope your dad cools off and gets off your case sooner rather then later.
Bricktothehead 21
I take it your father never noticed your sluggish behavior when you started. I can't excuse you for doing the drug, but there ought to have been some parenting in there somewhere.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between teen on weed and stereotypical lazy do-nothing teen
LunaRebirth 7
#10 I don't know where you got your brainwashed thought on weed. I'm 20 and not with my parents anymore, but I've smoked weed from age 15-now. Even while living with my parents, they never suspected a thing. It didn't change me, I'm still an energetic and fun person, just like I was 5 years ago, and even before then. I think you should not jump to the conclusion that weed makes you sluggish and horrible for doing it.
Ardeku 15
so many people at this site are pretty judgemental when it comes to that stuff. probably because they were raised on the war on drugs era and only recently are states one at a time realizing that that specific herb has health benefits and shouldn't be grouped with harder more dangerous narcotics like it used to be.
munchly 17
Good on quitting, way to go ;)