Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom grounded me for smoking cigarettes. I'm 13. I don't smoke. She said she smelled it on my clothes. I laughed and said I was in the basement, and used one of my dad's cig's to simulate a house on fire on my train layout. She didn't believe me. Honestly, I wouldn't believe that story either. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Today, my mom smoked pot in my sister's bedroom while I was at school. When I noticed the stench, she blamed the cat. FML
Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML
Today, while at home, I accidentally let out a big, loud fart near my dad. When he asked what the noise was, I blamed it on the cat. I remembered too late that we don't have a cat. My dad caught on quickly and grounded me for lying in front of him. FML
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of the smell of marijuana in the house. So I confessed and told her I'll never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML
Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML
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Top comments
tykatdesigns 13
Must of been a pretty dank fart yo
maximus_prime 24
Maybe she thought it smelt like good shit.
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Comments (63)
brendejafulable 41
Stinky situation.
Morning_fml 22
As 1st comment you had the clear chance to shine and receive many upvotes from everyone, but as usual, there always has to be that one person who overused an unoriginal pun. Here, take my down vote, it's free!
xxNIGHTxx_fml 17
I can't believe #1 was THAT person.
Arestian 14
OP just get her to get u a drug test and the proove the bitch wrong cause thats just **** up
Fr0gs 15
Sounds like you should shut the **** up!
Ethan_Anonymous 28
Wow. That really stinks OP.
maximus_prime 24
Maybe she thought it smelt like good shit.
Just_A_Tree 20
How does she know what weed smells like? Did mom live through the 70's? If so, then that's almost a guaranteed she's blazed it.
tantanpanda 26
You can smell weed off others when they've smoked it, just like regular smoking. Just because you know what weed smells like, doesn't mean you've tried It.
Just_A_Tree 20
That was more of a 70's joke. But thanks for taking me seriously.
travellingfun 18
"Mum it was just a fart, I promise!"
WCARlover 35
What in the world have you been eating?!
Drag0nb0rn 22
Pot brownies.
Nexoux 18
OP needs to eat salads for a week or two. Get some fibre in there.
Jeremy Phillips 18
How is eating a salad going to help get fibre in a diet?
tykatdesigns 13
Must of been a pretty dank fart yo
JKPwnage 27
must have*
newzealand 28
Question is, where have you been hiding your stash ?!
eyebrowzzz 21
Now everytime you have to fart make sure your mothers around to prove yourself and make them loud
devildog562 33
A simple urine test can prove your point, but I somehow get the feeling you're not telling us the whole story.. Have this nagging feeling that weed or partying has come up with your moms before. Just a hunch though.
False_Stupidity 42
I also get the feeling that even if OP can prove her innocence, her mum will still ground her for being a smart arse and proving her wrong. It's a lose/lose situation with some parents.
lexiieeex3 32
Really trying to figure out how weed and farts have a similar smell and I'm sorry but I'm not seeing it...