Today, my father contacted me for the first time in close to 2 months. The first thing he did was ask if I wanted to buy some weed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at age 23, I met my absentee father. He went on about how much he missed me and wanted to know more about me. He then asked if I knew where he could get some good weed, and said he'd share it to make up for all the missed birthdays and Christmases. FML
Today, I met my dad for first time in 22 years. He smoked a joint with me, showed me his plants, and gave me a bag of mushrooms. Every time I try and believe I'm not trash, the universe tells me different. FML
Today, my dad called for the first time in six months. He needs someone to bail him out of jail. FML
Today, my estranged father, with whom I haven't spoken in years, called me and demanded to know where his Father's Day gift was. FML
Today, my dad sat me down and angrily accused me of doing drugs, all because he's noticed I've recently become a lot more energetic and emotional than usual. The truth is, I'd been smoking weed daily for 3 years and just decided to never smoke it again 2 weeks ago. FML
Today, my father called me for the first time in two weeks since I moved away. Excited, I answered the phone. It was a mistake. He thought he'd called my sister. FML
Today, I called my dad to wish him happy birthday. The phone was disconnected, so I called my sister to see what his cell phone number was. She then informed me that our dad was in jail for selling shrooms to teenagers at a music festival out of state. FML
Today, my dad's cremated remains came in the mail. This is the first time in my entire adult life that he has visited me at my home. FML
Today, I went to visit my dad for the first time in over a year, as I have been studying for my Master's degree in history halfway across the world. The first thing he said to me? "So, gotten a real job yet?" FML
Today, my father contacted me for the first time in years to ask about my upcoming wedding, and possibly walking me down the aisle. He claimed the only reason he left was because he thought I'd be gay. I am. FML
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Top comments
Glowworm56 27
That's funny. Usually fathers call to say hi, not to ask if you want to get high.
maikeru1979 23
Have a question that inquiring minds want to know....Did you buy any?
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Comments (9)
Glowworm56 27
That's funny. Usually fathers call to say hi, not to ask if you want to get high.
mattyiscool123 26
I don't see the problem here
maikeru1979 23
Have a question that inquiring minds want to know....Did you buy any?
awildwhisper 30
Now you know why he wasn't in your life.
RichardPencil 32
What a shit dad! Aw, I'm sorry. He should be GIVING you weed!
species4872 20
Some ******* father. You don't charge your own kid.
HalfLit 17
Look man, my Dad didn't contact me for almost a year, and I found out he was in jail. And you know what? I held no grudge because he's my Dad. Parents are people too and they make mistakes. Let it go, at least he called you.
chessu 21
Not sure if serious or not?
TaoShaman 24
And when people make enough mistakes you cut ties with them. What's your point? Also, nice job hijacking someone else's post to talk about yourself.