Today, my dad said that if I walked home from school, a distance of 8 miles, he would give me $50. Two hours and four massive blisters later, I come home. When I asked for my money, he said "I was kidding." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML
Good one, thanks
Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML
Today, my dad refused to pick me up because he didn't want to get off the couch, so I had to walk for an hour and a half to get home. When I finally got home, my dad had gone out to pick my sister up from her friend's house. Her friend lives a 3-minute walk away. FML
Today, I had to walk three miles home from work. Both my parents were at home. The reason they wouldn't collect me is apparently because I've "gotten so fat, your grandma cried after she saw you". FML
Today, I finally told my dad that he owes me over 400 dollars, and that I need it or else I'd get kicked out of my apartment. He only gave me 70 and said to get a better job. FML
Today, my dad offered to pay me $40 to wash his car. Needing money to buy a video game, I agreed, and went out in the freezing weather to do the job. I finished the task, only to be paid in Monopoly money. My dad still hasn't gotten over how "funny" his prank was. FML
Today, I gave my dad $40 and asked him if he could get me lunch on his way back home. Long story short, he came back empty handed telling me it was my fault for trusting him with McNuggets. FML
Not a prank, bro!
Today, I went for a run when my shin splints acted up, so I called my dad to have him come pick me up. When I saw his car approaching, I stuck out my thumb like a hitchhiker, as a joke. The car pulled over to give me a ride. It wasn't my dad. FML
Today, I missed my bus. I had to ride my bike 2 miles. Once I left, some jerk nearly hit me. I flipped him off and shouted obsceneties. It was my dad, offering me a ride. He left. FML
Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML
Top comments
dum_dum1 0
you should have just caught a ride with some friends and had them drop you off down the road. work smarter not harder. dumbass!!
zDylanz 6
If only every American would do this, mabey we could decrease our nation's obesity.
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Comments (382)
francisco_g86 6
Quit your bitching, your fault for being a retard! lol
haylz86 0
it took you 2 hours to walk 4 miles???? I don't get regular exercise and I can do it in 40 minutes
DavLynn 4
*8
joa76 3
Why do I highly doubt that? If we assume you actually mean 4, even though the FML says 8, then you're saying you walk 4 miles in 40 min, or 6 mph. Normal walking speed is 3-3.5 mph, so you apparently walk double that? I just looked it up, out of curiosity. Average running speed is 6-11 mph, and distance running is about 6-7, so you walk as fast as your average person runs. Well. If I believed you, I would be HIGHLY impressed.
instantmusic 4
I'm surprised that no one is considering that terrain could be a factor, OP might not have been walking on flat, tame ground.
haylz86 0
got my unit conversion mixed up, not used to dealing in miles, but basically i can walk 2-3 miles in 15-20 minutes on flat ground, so it'd be around an hours walk for me on a not so hot day.
AaronTkr 0
8 miles? Eminem would be proud.
jewfro311 0
I see what you did there,
0opsie 6
Keep doing it anyway, OP. It's good for you!
sgtgrim570 0
Suck it up you cry baby. I RUN 15 miles twice a week, and march 30 miles carrying a 60lbs ruck sack twice a month. in boots. regardless of the weather. you FML should be "I'm lazy and out of shape, and don't want to do anything about it. "
nerdchic 5
just because it took them that long doesn't mean they're out of shape dumb ass. and he said he walked - which is prob why it took him so long to get home FYL OP
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Why is it that people who sign up to do the extremely psychical stuff always act like they are so superior to the rest of us who didn't sign up for such jobs? @sgtgrim570 "in boots." Whatever point you were trying to prove with that part of your comment is moot because the boots you wear are made to hold up during those activities. The fact of the matter is that everyone's body is created differently and each person handles things their own way. I go to the gym every other day or so and work out for an hour and yet I know that I couldn't do an eight mile hike. There are two very simple things that would cause major problems, 1. I don't have the right shoes for an eight mile hike nor do I intend to run out and spend money I don't have, on shoes that could hold up to an eight mile hike. and 2. I have major problems with my back and often just breathing hurts enough to make me want to cry, let alone walking on uneven/ rocky ground for that long.
sgtgrim570 0
I never mentioned how long it took the op to complete the 8 miles. I said the op was a cry baby for seeking sympathy over it. 8 miles is nothing. My 9 year old can drag me around Disney World from sun up to sun down and doesn't complain about having to walk. But if enabling the op makes you feel better about yourself, go for it.
sgtgrim570 0
Chi, as for your back condition, my heart truly goes out to you. I know how debilitating a back injury can be, and I truly regret the pain it causes you. that being said, the op never mentioned an injury or medical condition preventing them from being physically active. Obviously the op's father believed them to be capable, although maybe he is a total ass. The point of my original comment, and perhaps I was being too blunt about it, was simply that if you are physically fit, 8 miles is no big task, and if you need to get from point A to point B, you shouldn't need to be bribed to do so. Also, apart from a debilitating injury, or medical condition, none of us have anyone to blame but our selves for being physically unfit. And the point about the boots wasn't meant to say they are more or less comfortable than any other foot wear. However, as anyone who has worn combat boots can attest, they are heavier, hotter, and more prone to cause blisters than running or walking shoes. It takes weeks to break a pair in, and months to get used to wearing them.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
I'm just saying that eight miles, for someone who isn't used to it, can be really harsh. The OP may actually work out on occasion but may not yet be up to the task of an eight mile hike (terrain unknown) while (probably) carrying a backpack. They may be more of the work out on an elliptical for thirty minutes type. An exercise which will help you lose weight, but doesn't necessarily get you prepared for any kind of real hiking. Also as I said, they may not have had the right kind of shoes, something which should be factored in. If the OP got four blisters while making the trip I'd say that it's highly likely they were in bad shoes. The fact that the OP didn't do well on this particular trip is not really an indicator of whether or not they are really and truly out of shape.
LoveStar 0
owch
0opsie 6
& trust me, you only have blisters because you're not used to it.
dinkibus 18
could be under driving age
gracieroxursox 3
two hours to walk 8 miles? :o somebody doesn't usually get their exercise...
FajitaFreak 3
Huh? I walk at 3.5 miles per hour and about 5% if that if people I see walk faster. It's walking, not running. 8 miles is a lot.
orangeduck 6
It seems like boner spends a lot of his life on FML