Today, my dad said that if I walked home from school, a distance of 8 miles, he would give me $50. Two hours and four massive blisters later, I come home. When I asked for my money, he said "I was kidding." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML
Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML
Today, my dad refused to pick me up because he didn't want to get off the couch, so I had to walk for an hour and a half to get home. When I finally got home, my dad had gone out to pick my sister up from her friend's house. Her friend lives a 3-minute walk away. FML
Today, I had to walk three miles home from work. Both my parents were at home. The reason they wouldn't collect me is apparently because I've "gotten so fat, your grandma cried after she saw you". FML
Today, I finally told my dad that he owes me over 400 dollars, and that I need it or else I'd get kicked out of my apartment. He only gave me 70 and said to get a better job. FML
Today, my dad offered to pay me $40 to wash his car. Needing money to buy a video game, I agreed, and went out in the freezing weather to do the job. I finished the task, only to be paid in Monopoly money. My dad still hasn't gotten over how "funny" his prank was. FML
Today, I gave my dad $40 and asked him if he could get me lunch on his way back home. Long story short, he came back empty handed telling me it was my fault for trusting him with McNuggets. FML
Today, I went for a run when my shin splints acted up, so I called my dad to have him come pick me up. When I saw his car approaching, I stuck out my thumb like a hitchhiker, as a joke. The car pulled over to give me a ride. It wasn't my dad. FML
Today, I missed my bus. I had to ride my bike 2 miles. Once I left, some jerk nearly hit me. I flipped him off and shouted obsceneties. It was my dad, offering me a ride. He left. FML
Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML
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Top comments
dum_dum1 0
you should have just caught a ride with some friends and had them drop you off down the road. work smarter not harder. dumbass!!
zDylanz 6
If only every American would do this, mabey we could decrease our nation's obesity.
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Comments (382)
mikehawksworth 0
you got four blisters from 8 miles? what are you 350lbs? cheese and rice
joa76 3
Blisters are normally due more to the shoes you wear than how much you walk.
IStoleTheCookies 16
Yeah, leave every1luvsboners alone, he's entitled to his opinion on here just like everyone else is.
yogi_the_bear 0
There is such a thing as school buses...
1prettymilf_fml_fml 5
Wear walking shoes next tim
krushr 3
Oh yeah? Well my school is 57 miles away, and I walk every day. Plus I go home for lunch. And I'm 4. Beat that!
thegreat1_one 0
took u 2 hrs to walk 8 miles? u prolly needed the exercise. thank ur dad
SirEBC 7
ZOMG BONERS UR COMENTS ARE NOT FUNNY. Freaking haters, man. Addressing the person who felt the need to emphasize how much time Boners spends on FML (I'm too lazy/apathetic to see who it was): The only way you'd know that is if you spent the same amount of time here. The only difference between you two is that people know/like/hate on him, and no one takes a second look at you. :D
wisericky 12
you guys trying to one-up the OP are cool.
orangeduck 6
No need to get so crabby. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. If someone doesn't believe you're funny then so be it. I bet you don't say 97.678% of the things you say on FML in public.
snowboarder1019 5
sucks haha. I only have to walk half a kilometer