Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML
Today, I thought I would surprise my dad by mowing our entire two acre lawn. When he got home, instead of being grateful like I had hoped, he yelled at me for cutting in vertical lines instead of horizontal. FML
Today, I finally told my dad that he owes me over 400 dollars, and that I need it or else I'd get kicked out of my apartment. He only gave me 70 and said to get a better job. FML
Today, I lost my patience and asked the deadbeat I loaned money to last year to please pay up. His response: "Blow me." No thanks, dad. FML
Today, after shoveling one guy's steps, sidewalk, and driveway for two hours straight, I went to ask for my money. He said, "Work is its own reward!" and shut the door in my face. FML
Today, my dad offered to pay me $40 to wash his car. Needing money to buy a video game, I agreed, and went out in the freezing weather to do the job. I finished the task, only to be paid in Monopoly money. My dad still hasn't gotten over how "funny" his prank was. FML
Today, I finally got the nerve to tell my parents that I'm no longer going to pay them a flat percent of my salary, but only what they need to cover my expenses. Their response: "Better find a place of your own then, you freeloading bastard." FML
Today, my dad asked to borrow some money off me, so I said okay. Later on, he told me he'll be using it to help divorce my mom. I pretty much just helped pay for my parents' divorce. FML
Today, my dad asked if I'd help him clean the gutters. I was given the responsibility of holding the ladder while he went on the roof. All I heard was laughter before a year's worth of rotting vegetation landed on top of my head. FML
Today, I finally confronted my father about how rude and tactless he is. It wasn't until I'd finished my rant that I realized he was ignoring me. He then told me to get him something to drink. I replied, "Since you asked so rudely, you can go get it yourself." As soon as I'd said that, he grunted and repeated himself. FML
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Top comments
SoylentCandycorn 10
Grade A Parenting. Remember this day when you choose his nursing home.
StalkerChick 13
Well, go get ******. In his bed.
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Comments (172)
kotana191 8
so I'm guessing you didn't get paid.... sorry OP
daner10 5
*gasp* How did you know?!
102Percent 5
Your father did pay you OP. He paid you in motivation.
OhAidan 7
Motivation to write a FML!
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Motivation to go get laid perhaps. It's in the dad's words people!!
iarefatal 9
Get laid not paid! But I suppose if you could do both...
duckie227 22
His dad probably lets his kid live under his roof for free. In my household, we called these 'chores' and didn't get paid for doing things like mowing the lawn. Kids are so ungrateful these days.
klovemachine 24
Knock him out with a frying pan :) then he'll have to pay a hospital bill. See how he likes that :P
SammyS2012 21
Some kids get allowances and it's not a new concept. I've never been paid to do chores but it doesn't teach them to be ungrateful; it teaches them to work for their money. Don't judge.
happle 21
I always got allowance before I got a job. But I did and continue to do chores because I'm a member of the household and I have an obligation to pitch in.
sens3sfailing 25
85- the dad also promised. The dad is teaching his kid that they don't have to stand by their word basically. The dad is just a manipulating liar really.
StalkerChick 13
Well, go get ******. In his bed.
free2speak 14
Wait... What? The solution is to have sex in his bed. I can think of more creative and cruel ways.
OhAidan 7
Haha, penis.
WDLfootball 8
Well put.
Krajjan 9
2 - I doubt the solution is less self esteem and potentially causing a murder. I once had a very good friend with an abusive father. He walked in on me touching her shoulder platonically and stuck a .22 revolver in my face. Keeping my wits, and 16 year old understanding of the permanence of life, about me, I smartassed my way out the door and out of vomiting in terror. Perhaps OP's dad isn't abusive but, "Get ******" sounds pretty openly hostile. Good advice over. Go with 2's suggestion.
desoto96 9
68 sounds like you need to take some ninja classes my friend! Turn that gun around on him!
JerryH 9
And this is why i hate parents
Krajjan 9
82 - Even now that I'm trained to do that kind of shit, I still realize its dumb as hell to try when it costs you nothing to walk away. If I was still enlisted, would I do it for the mission? Hell yes, and I'd feel like a ninja.
paprika_pilipili_fml 14
#140 OP's dad did sth wrong, by not keeping his promise to pay her, but it's not a reason to hate him. Do you realize how hard parents work for their children ? Waking up in the middle of the night when they're babies, giving them baths and getting them dressed, paying for all the things they need, etc. Actually, I think OP's dad was wrong to offer to pay her. You shouldn't need to pay your kids in order for them to help around the house.
mariah_1_11 22
If a parent says they will do something they should do it. It's called setting a good example about keeping your promises. Just because you're the parent doesn't mean you get to be a hypocrite.
Meettitan 14
Nobody wants to go to prison for shooting someone in the face. you should have told him to shoot you, no one will. People flash guns like they bluff in poker.
devilz_advocate 7
153- yeah, because there is absolutely no gun violence... anywhere.....
Krajjan 9
161 - My thoughts exactly. I've been shot at. I am in no hurry to experience that again if I can help it.
devilz_advocate 7
163- likewise
SoylentCandycorn 10
Grade A Parenting. Remember this day when you choose his nursing home.
onlychildFTW 34
He can pay for his own nursing home with the money he didn't give OP. haha.
ittsdann 6
I know his dad told him he would but I hate when kids expect payment for chores. Your parents pay for everything for you to keep you alive. You can't just cut the lawn or take the trash out for free?
meso222 8
Teaching your kids to expect somethjng after a job well done, is the best way to show them why a full time job is neecassary, that $10 a week for chores shows them that working lets them have things they want not just things they need to live. Otherwise tey will never move out or get a good job because there is nothing in it for them. Every one is slightly greedy it is what makes us do things.
sonicgreg 12
Great parenting Not sure but I think he might have insinuated to get paid be prostitution. A+ OP's dad
moonboobs 4
Did you ask your Mom?
Holyshihtzus 7
What if Op doesn't have a mom? What if she died or he has two dads or something like that?
androiddestroya 7
Boy, that escalated quickly.
lionandthelamb61 9
Or...what if he does have a mom...they're all viable options.
lionandthelamb61 9
*she
KiddNYC1O 22
4- To get ******?
Rddvl 11
I'm sorry OP. At least now you know not to do your dad anymore favors.
thatfrenchguy 8
Really? I find it normal to mow the lawn and help out in the house without getting paid for it.
klovemachine 24
And how is OP supposed to earn money 93 hmmmmm (and learn the value of a dollar?) of course OP could just take the money out of his wallet :)
happle 21
97- Holy shit. There are other honest ways to make money you know.
DogsPaw 16
I asked my dad for money in return for chores. He showed me how much I cost a month. I owe him a shitload more chores.
Jirekianu2 19
The problem 93 is that he agreed to pay her for her work. She earned her pay. When she asked for it he told her he wouldn't pay in probably the most hostile way possible. That isn't the way a decent person or parent acts. If there was no payment agreed on and she made an assumption she'd be paid your point would stand. However, this doesn't seem to be the case.
klovemachine 24
It doesn't matter whether or not he promised to pay her, he shouldn't talk to her like that :(
maddygirl820 10
Dad knows best…?
monstersocks 5
It's usually mom know best so clearly dad doesn't.
winkydog4056 16
#34_Is your profile pic a POWERPUFF girl!?!?!?!?!
SApprentice 34
63- Of course that's not a Powerpuff Girl. That's Mandy, from The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy.
SettingSun89 5
Thats mandy actually...get your shit together man
winkydog4056 16
#67_Yikes! Please forgive me. Its been a long time since Wanky Dog watched The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy. Too busy watching Mr. Krabs in Bikini Bottom.
lionandthelamb61 9
Did you just spell your own screen name wrong?
jnaust 8
Wanky dog is much funnier
Boston_4_Life 3
I feel you're pain. I hate when people do that, sorry OP
KVKdragon 26
Just slowly siphon the cash from him bit by bit (subtly) until you have fair compensation. He probably wouldn't notice if he didn't notice all the hard work you did for him last week
Steve95401 49
OP has been siphoning money from the First National Bank of Mom & Dad since the day she was born. Food, clothing, doctor bills, not to mention college, aren't free. Doing a few chores around home is a fair trade off.
SApprentice 34
66- Yes, it's true that doing a few chores is expected, but in this case OP's father promised to pay her for the work, and not only went back on that promise, but spat a hostile remark at her when she brought it up to him. That's bad parenting. It just teaches your kids that everyone is out to **** them over, and that they should never put in any effort into jobs because the people with authority over them are just going to jerk the reward that they have worked towards out from under them as soon as the work is done. I do agree, however, that OP shouldn't steal money from her father in retaliation. One wrong doesn't fix another one.
dead247 13
Unless OP is a brat and won't do anything anyways. Op may only do things when money is involved. Maybe Op is a saint, who knows.
KY_Jelly 10
Getting ****** is a pretty good payment. Take it.
anm1019 8
tell him to go **** himself and take the money and run
bobeattaco 5
Run where?
Krajjan 9
Screaming, naked, and into traffic, of course.
androiddestroya 7
Lol, how do I vengeance?
anm1019 8
Hell Yes!!