Today, my dad asked me if I'd started smoking, I gave him a big speech about how I never have and never will. Two hours later, he found my stash of cigarettes under my bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML
Today, I wanted to spend the day cleaning my room. My mom thinks that I was lying just to stay home, so she yelled at me to go to her shop. At the shop, she yelled at me for not being any help. When we got home she yelled at me for having a messy room. FML
Today, my drinking problem became apparent when my daughter asked for a glass of juice, and I instinctively poured a large glass of scotch instead. FML
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML
Today, I was with my 3 year-old son in the doctor's office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML
Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML
Today, my little brother told me to give him my phone so he could play a game on it. I said no, because I was taking a call from a friend at the time. He then walked over to the wall, headbutted it, burst into tears, then told my parents that I punched him. They believed him. FML
Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML
Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML
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Top comments
slayerdme 0
Why would you even smoke in the first place? Think you're cool huh?
trilingualotaku 0
ydi for 2 reasons. 1=bad hiding spot. 2=for lying. ... have a nice day :D
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Comments (273)
CamH_fml 0
Well your an idiot. Don't smoke. It gives you cancer. And don't blatantly lie to your dad....
lucaso86 0
If what happened on your inside, happened on your outside, would you still smoke???? Smoking is bad for you period
Poke_my_mon 0
You know the best place to hide them? At the convenience store. The only thing is that the clerk usually charges me to take it back... Ass. YDI for being an idiot and smoking and hiding it under your bed. Why don't you keep in on yourself :| OR, you know, somewhere no one's been or would look. In your underwear OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH
ScatteredMind 0
you deserve it, asshole. you planned you'll hide the truth from your dad your whole life?
pingpongdj 0
YDI. first, hiding it under your bed. that's that lamest hiding place ever! it's pretty hard to hide smokes cos you can smell them everywhere, your breath or clothing for example. second, your redundant long speech. it probably gave yourself away and if you knew so much about smoking, the harms and effects of it etc, why did you even start smoking? last but not least, third, you lied to your dad. tsk!
yourkiddingright_fml 0
He knew before he asked you, kid! He can smell it on you!!!
getdick 0
Happens to everyone
kennethhartley 0
Hahahahhahah u r such a dipwad haha under the bed wat did u think the monsters were going to keep them safe so noone would find em haha
nevele11 0
You dumbass.
xChrista1xx 0
You're a thick one, ain't ya.